I can be changed by what’s happening to me but I refuse to be reduced my it
As I sit here this morning drinking my coffee I could easily be overwhelmed by all that I have to do in December.
Parenting class, court dates, dentist appointments, Christmas shopping, taking care of my daughter, working, writing, and healing just to name a few.
My schedule seems to be on overload this month and there’s no end in sight. Between the accident and the divorce I would say it’s probably the most trying time of my entire life, but I won’t ever be reduced by my current situation.
It’s changing me that’s for sure, but it won’t ever break me. I’m not the kind of girl that gives up ever, and this is no exception.
I can brave the storms but I can’t do it alone and I don’t even try to.
I don’t need to pretend that every day is good because where would that get me?
I also don’t need to pretend that every day sucks because it sure as hell doesn’t it.
I’m here to be real and to share my journey, because that’s why God made me. I’m vulnerable and I don’t care what people think, because that’s not the way I was made.
When your willing to put everything out there and live a life that comes from your heart, a lot of people aren’t going to like it.
I don’t have any secrets that I’m ashamed of. I don’t live in a world that’s congruent with making other people feel comfortable.
I embrace wholeheartedly every single situation or experience in my life for a lesson and I have zero regrets.
I’m a light seeker
A truth teller
& an imperfectly perfect human being.
I’m brave even when I’m weak and I’m real even when I’m afraid.
When God made me he knew exactly what he was doing and I’ve learned to trust in him even when I can barley see the light.
Because faith and hope are the things that see me through. I don’t know where I’ll be spending my Christmas. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to take my daughter home again. I only know that we don’t grow when shits easy.
I know that her happy and her safe trump anything that I’m ever going through and that I’ll never stop showing her what it’s like to keep going.
In the midst of the storm she sees me sad sometimes and she sees me strong at times. What she never will see me do is pretend.
I won’t pretend it’s easy and I won’t pretend that I’m never afraid.
Instead I’ll continue to be real on a daily basis and I will take it one day at a time. She’ll learn from me that it’s not her job to please anyone else other then herself and that she shouldn’t care if everyone likes her.
In fact if she doesn’t have some enemies then she’s not living her most authentic life. She’s learning to be a warrior in the middle of the storm and she’s also learning at a much younger age then I did how to use her voice.
These are the good things that come from the bad. These are the lessons that make us all stronger and that create true character and integrity.
I’m still blessed in the middle of the mess and I will never be reduced by this life.
💜 Tay Tay