Surviving the adrenaline rush

I’ve been running on straight adrenaline for a few days now. The events of the last week have had me extremely emotionally drained.

It’s so much to feel and see and hear and witness. The pain that is felt by the people left behind is often times completely unbearable, yet we all continue on somehow.

It’s been a rollercoaster and while we think we can prepare ourselves for what’s coming, there’s absolutely no way in hell that we can even imagine what a broken heart feels like.

I took time today to regroup and regain my center, by taking it to the mat. Last week was a blur at times and I found myself on autopilot a lot more then I ever am normally.

I happen to think it’s a side effect of the entire process of losing such a beautiful brave soul. Today my yoga teacher explained that not only were her eyes sad, but it was as though her entire body was sad at the loss of Renee’. And I knew exactly what she was talking about as I believe it best describes grief.

It seems to enter our bodies and flow through our muscles and there’s nothing we can do about it, except for to sit with it and wait on it to subside.

I’m going to need to take special care or my heart and my energy right now because I’ve got lots more going on in my life. But one day soon I’ll be able to focus on creating a new routine.

I hope that you all truly understand how short life is. Losing my best friend has taught me just how important it is to find your happy and to live it every single day.

Stay tuned for amazing adventure and great news in my life.

šŸ’œ Tay Tay

Peace God Bless Namaste

When your best friend dies a bit of your heart goes with her

Yesterday we had a funeral for my sweet friend Renee’. While my hearts completely broken and I’m not sure how to spend my first summer without her, I wanted to show you what’s seeing me through.

I’ve received lots and lots of love through phone calls and messages and so much more. I can’t tell you that this is easy because it’s by far one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my entire life.

But you filled me up every single time that you reached out to me. It’s your love that’s filling my cup so that I can continue to pour from my heart.

I’m sharing this so you can always use your words. Tell people what’s on your heart because it will be exactly what they need to hear.

Don’t think it’s silly or that they won’t want to hear it because I can promise you that I loved every single one I’ve received.

With tears streaming down my face I was able to keep going because you guys were kind enough to use your voice and I humbly thank you.

Every picture and every message came at the exact time that I needed to hear it.

Love is a verb and there’s so much action in what you guys did to support and love me and I will NEVER forget it.

And that night after her viewing we were blessed with the most beautiful skies.

How did I get so lucky?!? To have so much love in my life?!?!?!?

šŸ’œ Tay Tay

Blessed even in the mess

One of my best friends in the entire world lost her battle with cancer. I can’t tell you enough how short life is and you need to enjoy every single minute of it.

She was unlike no other and the hole in my heart will never be filled.

Today I was blessed by so much love and support and I can’t thank everyone enough.

My friends are seeing me through the darkness and I am eternally grateful.

I will be writing a beautiful tribute in her honor very soon I’m just not there yet.

Thank you Maureen for the beautiful flowers and the amazing card.

Thank you Stephie for the wine and the laughter and your friendship.

Thank you Melanie for stopping in just to squeeze me it was exactly what I needed.

Bretnie thank you for your unconditional love and support and for coming to hang out.

And every single one of you that took the time to message me or call me I love you and your light is seeing me through.

šŸ’œ Tay Tay

Only when Iā€™m really really really sad……..

Hey friends!

I’m going through it today and I’m sad as all get out. There are times when I can persevere and make things better and there are times when I need to surrender.

But when I’m sad and alone and afraid, there are things that I miss having. I miss the comfort of a man and I’m not even going to pretend like I don’t.

It’s not about needing a man, if that were the case I would have already had 4 different relationships.

But there’s something absolutely amazing about a strong man holding you in his arms. I find tremendous comfort when it comes to hugging and holding someone.

Human beings need to be hugged and touched and kissed always!

Just ask my girlfriends how touchy I am! I always hug them and kiss them and touch them and smack their asses. Its a part of who I am, I’m a touchy girl and if your my friend it’s going to happen.

It’s not sexual so don’t even go there, it’s just me! Like some people hate to hug or touch I’m the complete opposite.

I’ve been single for almost a year now and I’m missing the over all feelings of having a man in my life.

The way he makes me feel safe. The way that he looks at me. The sweet kiss on the forehead and the simplicity of simply being still and doing nothing but cuddling.

But………:when I’m really really sad and alone and I need comforting, I find myself longing for these things. While at other times I don’t need them at all.

I am continually tested by the people I meet to see if I’m going to repeat history, or if I’ve learned how to show up and be myself.

It’s quite confusing and if I’m being honest I’ve never experienced so much sadness at the same time in my entire life.

I guess that means it’s time to get back out there.

I know that there’s a man out there and he’s praying for me. He will love everything about me and he won’t want me to change a single thing.

And I’m willing to wait for him because after all these years, I’ve finally found myself and I won’t ever give up.

Please please please keep me in your prayers as you will soon be informed of more. I love you and I appreciate you and I hope that you are getting a big fat hug tonight.

šŸ’œ Tay Tay

Want to know the secret to freedom?

So many people get really weird when I talk to them about being enlightened or awake.

Especially if these people don’t have a spiritual bone in their entire body. I told my friends the other day if I were alive back in the day, I would have been accused of being a witch.

Because that’s the kind of mind games I can teach you. It’s like a super Jedi trick that you won’t ever give up once you learn how to use it.

But of course some people won’t believe in it and that’s perfectly ok. Those people will never be a part of your enlightened group.

To each their own friends!

Once you’ve learned how to free yourself from the trap of your own mind you will find yourself in a much more peaceful spot then you’ve ever been before in your entire life.

It’s the most amazing thing when you can disassociate from the chatter in your mind and you can make it all stop.

There’s a peace that passes through my belly and it expands like a bright light throughout me. It’s the most amazing gift I’ve ever given myself and it always needs fine tuning.

I won’t ever be able to be awake all the time, that’s quite impossible.

However, the more you practice something in your everyday life, the better you will become at it.

Instead of passing on dysfunction and addictions to our kids what if we passed on Presence?

What if their spiritual game was strong because someone in their life was already enlightened?

I believe I’m a teacher and I’m here to share the light.

I think the world would be a much better place if we could let go of our fears, let go of things that aren’t love and learn how to live awake.

If you’d like to learn more about conscious living check out Eckhart Tolle, he’s truly one of the most amazing spiritual leaders of our time.

Wake up friends

Your worth it

šŸ’œ Tay Tay

Peace God Bless Namaste

Yellow Springs

I just spent the entire day at street fair in Yellow Springs and it was absolutely phenomenal.

It’s by far one of the most laid back little quaint towns in all of Ohio, maybe in all of the United States.

It also happens to be National Best Friends Day today, which made it even more fun.

It’s only about an hour away from our house so we hopped in the car and set off on an adventure.

Everyone needs days like these where you spend time doing nothing with those that you love. We didn’t have to be anywhere at anytime and it was absolutely freeing to wander the streets and to go wherever we wanted.

We listened to music and hung out in the streets, and had a drink in a cute little bar.

Where I happened to find some art in the bathroom, you know me I can find a positive message anywhere, and this was no exception.

I even found a message for my Best Friend Renee’.

We had some really yummy food from Peaches which I’m wishing I had not of right now. (For real that looks delicious)

I should have thought to bring some home with me, but there wasn’t any left!

We met some really nice ladies, because let’s face it there are no strangers in this town and everyone is as chill as they come.

Life is all about balance, and when you finally learn how to take care of yourself, your entire life will change for the better.

Learn to live before it’s to late.

I hope you have a great night friends

šŸ’œ Tay Tay

Peace God Bless Namaste