Good Morning Dear Ones
I’m almost done with the worlds longest break up. I am 66 days away from my court date and I will finally be free. Never ever in a million years did I think it would go the way it’s gone.
But don’t they say the road to hell is built on good intentions. I started the break up process during the spring break of my daughters junior year, because I wanted her to have love in her house for her last year here. It turns out that did not happen.
We’ve all been forced to reside together during this entire process. I could leave, but I would be leaving her behind. He doesn’t want the house, but he also won’t leave. So moving out and moving back sounds kind of crazy.
So I’ve stayed here and I’ve tried my best to avoid him on a daily basis, which wears me the fuck out. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, ALL the way out. It’s by far one of the most toxic situations for all parties involved.
I gave up the hope of actually agreeing on anything because if I didn’t we’d still be stuck. Living with your ex is awful waffle. He doesn’t seem to ever be affected by it, as he pretends nothings changed. But in 66 days it’s changing!
I will no longer be unable to breathe in my own space. I won’t have to stay confined to my room and I can begin to truly heal in a space that needs a lot of love. I haven’t been the best me having to see him every single day, but it’s almost over.
The end is near and I cannot wait to finally be free. No one should ever have to live like this after they choose to leave their abusive partner. But that’s a lifetime movie waiting to be written.
If your a woman who has had to endure this, I’m sorry and I love you. I see you and you are not alone. This is the year of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine to rise. Karmic relationships are coming to an end and beautiful new beginnings are forming all around us. But first you must learn to love yourself.
The only thing that matters from this point forward is that there will be love in this house. The worlds a mess, but this house will be safe again very soon. A mess, but a safe mess.
I didn’t get it right, and I’ll never get it perfect, but I sure as shit am no longer the victim of an unhealthy marriage and it feels amazing to reclaim my heart space. I apologize to my daughter and myself and I choose to look forward and not backwards.
If you’ve been going through it, maybe it’s time for your karmic cycle to end and your healing to begin. Welcome to a new earth.
A distressed mess Tavia