We sin when we have our loves out of order

I just read the most beautiful description about love 💜 by David Brooks from The Wisdom of Sunday’s.

He explains it like this

“So we all love a lot of things. We love family. We love money. We love a little affection. Status. Truth. And we all know that some loves are higher. We know that our love of family is higher than our love of money. And if we’re lying to get money, we’re putting our lives out of order. And so sometimes just by our nature, we get them out of order. So, for example if a friend tells you a secret, and you blab it at a dinner party, you’re putting your love of popularity above your love of friendship. And we know that’s wrong. That’s the wrong order. And so it’s useful to sit down and say”

What do I love?

What are the things I really love?

And

In what order do I love them?

Am I spending time on the highest love?

Or

Am I spending time on a lower love?

Instead of thinking of sin as something that’s dark and deprived I found this description more beautiful.

I understand it fully because over the years I’ve been guilty of having my loves out of order.

I’ve blabbed secrets in the past simply because I was in a bad spot.

Ive hurt people who didn’t deserve it because I was hurting.

But when I finally started to love myself and my life then my priorities began to shift. Instead of coming from a place of fear and lack I began to come from a place of healing and abundance.

When I spend to much time with those who don’t Honor me and my heart I begin to feel depleted and alone. My soul already knows these people are committed to misunderstanding me, so it’s time to let go and move on.

My family will always be my first and they always have been. I can say without a doubt since I began making myself a priority and learning how to heal my soul my life had changed indubitably.

I want you to be real with you because your the only one who can get it right.

Are your loves out of order?

If so

What will you do about it?

Thanks for reading my blog I appreciate you

God Bless

Namaste

Peace

Divorce isn’t such a tragedy, staying in an unhappy marriage is

#TruthsWithTayTay

Divorce isn’t such a tragedy.

A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage

Teaching your children the wrong things about love

Nobody ever died of divorce

The most important lesson I can teach our daughter during this is what unconditional love really looks like.

I have to teach her what love means in a healthy way instead of passing on another level of dysfunction to her.

Marriage is a union between 2 people that’s supposed to help you take down the walls around your heart and grow into the amazing people God wants you to be.

But sometimes people stay in marriages for all the wrong reasons. There’s little to no love instead it’s like an obligation that each one carries out while never being committed to the union.

Wives and husbands have been recreating the same drama that occurred in their own homes for years. Some lucky souls are wise enough to understand the gift of love that their father has created for them, and some people are so afraid of love that they put it on simmer on the back burner and hope it works out.

If you love your marriage then you have to try to make it work because you owe it to yourself and to your family. But if your trying harder then the other person and your the only one who keeps feeling hurt then it’s time to move on.

I once read a book and it said if a person was going to change they could do it in 6 months. That seems like a longtime and a short time depending on the situation.

What if you gave a person years to change?

What if you believed them every single time they said it was going to be different?

What if you gave it your all and they gave you very little?

What if your afraid but you decide that your heart deserves more?

What if you learned your lessons and decided to move on?

What if you taught your kids the difference between promises and actions?

What if you taught your kids how to grow emotionally instead of teaching them how to stay the same?

If you want to stay in a marriage where your unappreciated then that’s on you Friends. I’m not here to judge you or to tell you to leave. There’s a lot of things that can be fixed when you have 2 honest people showing up and confessing their sins.

But when your marriage is full of blame and you allow other people to come first then it’s not a healthy place for you or your kids.

When you can’t have a conversation about anything real then these are warning signs that you need to get out.

If you’ve tried to set healthy boundaries, gone to counseling and forgiven someone who wasn’t even sorry then you know without a doubt it’s time to move on.

Love is an action

It’s a choice daily to put that persons needs before your own needs and let me tell you

Without a doubt I did that for many years.

I stayed at home with kids and raised them so he could get his degree and begin living his dreams. He worked full time and went to school 3/4 of time and worked every other weekend and holidays.

I missed him dearly but I supported his dreams. As the years went on I thought one day we would be enough, but there were more accomplishments he wanted to achieve. So I supported these endeavors as well, which included being a coach and getting his masters degree.

In the meantime I found myself and the love I needed to start healing my heart. I have dreams to you know! I’ve put many of them on hold for years because I knew one day it would be my turn. I guess what I didn’t realize is that I would be single and supporting myself in these new adventures.

But I can tell you this……..

I got this

I will come out stronger and I will teach my daughter how to use her voice and how to stand up for herself

I will teach her about boundaries and about self love

But more then anything I will teach her the real meaning of family

The unconditional love that we give to each other

Is the one gift I’ve always had and I always will

I love my friend without restrictions

I love them no matter what

And there’s no better feeling in the world then knowing someone has your back and there’s nothing they could do that would make you ever stop loving them

My family isn’t rich or glamorous but they are fucking faithful and loyal and full of love 💜💜

Being Bold Enough To Live Your Vision

Your vision is for you

And there will be many times when other people can’t see your vision

That’s all right because if God gave you the vision God will give you the provision

God is not going to bring your provision through your sisters vision

It’s going to come to you

For you

Through you

As soon as you eliminate the deficiencies

Iyanla

Happy Sunday Friends

I’m starting my morning off right with a cup of coffee and The Wisdom of Sunday’s by Oprah.

It’s exactly what my soul needed this morning. When it comes to visions there are going to be many people who don’t understand yours and I’m here to tell you that it’s ok.

They don’t need to understand your plan because it’s yours and not theirs. If you’ve taken the the time to be still and to allow the Holy Spirit into your life then you know where your prompts come from. You understand that the messages come from the divine and that they are full of love instead of fear.

One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is something that many people can’t understand and don’t even try to comprehend. They see things the way they see it, but they don’t know what really happens in our home on a daily basis.

They only know the parts of the story that they choose to know. Don’t ever think for one second that you really know someone unless you spend lots of time with them on a personal level because you only know what people want you to know.

Sometimes in life we are given a vision and it’s so clear that it scares the be-Jesus out of us. When God speaks to us at first we might not listen, because we’re stubborn and we already have all of the answers.

But as time goes on you can’t ignore the promptings from the lord. Once he’s planted that seed it begins to grow no matter how long you spend in denial. He will even send you messages from your kids and your loved ones, but your heats has to be open to receive the message.

Here’s what I can tell you for sure.

For the last year I’ve lived a fearful life. It was very numbing and confusing and when I look back I’m not quite sure how I even survived it.

But I do know this, we weren’t made to be afraid. We were made to be loved and cherished and adored and that’s something that’s been missing from my life for a very long time.

But I was a part of the problem. I was so overwhelmed by others opinions and beliefs that I wasn’t even sure what I wanted anymore. I had been stuck in the meantime for a really long time and something had to change.

I did everything possible to fix my marriage before I decided it was time to walk away. I faithfully threw myself into it one last time before I realized that this wasn’t the vision my

Father had for me.

Several times he tried to lead me down another path, but my selfish broken ways wouldn’t listen. My heart already knew the truth but my broken brain kept taking the wheel.

The good news is that I finally listened, and I know without a doubt that this is where I’m supposed to be. This is my vision from my father and my life and is going to wonderful.

Sure there are days that are bad and I’ve learned to accept them. Feelings aren’t always a good thing. Sometimes when we hurt we want to do anything to avoid the pain, but I urge you to sit with it, invite it in and feel it.

Let it wash all over you and then release it so it’s not stuck inside you. We must be willing to feel the good and the bad and to stop avoiding the messy.

We must be willing to let go of the idea in our own heads and learn how to take advice from our hearts!

I thank you all for your support and your love during these changes in my life 💜

I realize God gave me my writing as a way to heal and to help others learn how to start over!

Peace

God Bless

Namaste

Pick Your Pain

Pick your pain

Do you want the temporary pain of progress or

The eternal pain of staying the same?

Joyce Meyer

Who wants pain?

Neither one of those choices sound like much fun, but we have to go with one of them.

The pain of progress means we have to take action today like right now instead of waiting and thinking and remaining stuck.

We have to actually do something different so we can produce different results. How many of you started the year off with big goals but never seemed to accomplish any of them?

We as humans tend to get stuck in the trap of our minds and then we take zero action because we’re stuck thinking.

It hurts to move forward but it also hurts to stay the same. I guess this is the part when you have to get real with you. You have to decide which ones worse and then you have to take action.

Would you prefer to be uncomfortable for a while if it means change is on the way?

Or

Are you ok with not growing and not living the life your meant to Live?

Are you alright with the pain that your currently feeling?

Something to think about

Thanks for reading my blog 💜

Peace

God Bless

Namaste

This isn’t how I pictured my life…..

Have you ever had an idea in your head about your life?

But……..

It doesn’t go the way you planned?

I thought for sure I would be married to the same guy forever and live happily ever after.

I just knew one day we we’re going to create the family that neither one of us had growing up.

And I believed with all my heart that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Until………….

The idea in my mind and the feelings in my heart no longer matched each other.

It was as though my heart was saying no no no and my head was saying yes yes yes.

Have you ever had a disconnect between the 2?

If you answered yes then congratulations your normal!

But which one should you listen to?

The ideas in your mind come from fears and unmet expectations.

The feeling in your gut comes from a deeper place with a more intrinsic connection.

It’s related to our intuition, which is often times pushed aside or ignored all together.

We want to learn how to live from a place of love instead of a place of lack.

The ideas in my head were wrong on so many levels. The stories I told myself to avoid my heart weren’t even true. They just helped me avoid the inevitable which is where I am right now.

Maybe your life’s not going as you planned and that’s ok because Gods plan is always better then my plan.

We think we’re in control and that we have it all worked out but then God comes along and says no way sister, that’s not how this story ends.

Learn to live in the NOW and the future and the past can’t touch you. Every single time I feel myself becoming overwhelmed I know that I’m stuck in my mind.

As soon as I feel the dread or the anxiety begin to seize my body I remind myself of what’s happening, and I’m able to take a breath and let it pass through me.

Maybe your ideas are no where big enough for the blessings that are in store for you! (That’s the story I’m sticking with today)

I’m open to receive the blessings and the love I give so freely.

May we all learn the idea in our head is just a story that holds zero power over us and may we learn to show up day after day no matter what life brings our way.

Ladies if you want a healthy marriage read this

One of the things that went wrong from the very beginning of my marriage we’re my in-laws.

As the years went on I began to notice things that we’re no longer ok with me. They didn’t serve to honor my husbands feelings or my own.

I tried to stand up for myself, I pulled away, I didn’t attend certain events and I tried to use my voice. But unfortunately my needs were never considered.

If I could do it all differently I would have said no from the beginning. I would have made sure that our union was about the 2 of us and never about making anyone else happy.

I don’t regret the life I’ve lived because I’ve learned so much about myself by living it for 20 years. But I am certain about a few things.

Mothers and wives play very different roles in the lives of their men and a man should never have to choose between the 2 of them. The Bible says that God comes first and then comes marriage. We can’t argue his word so here we are learning from it.

I sacrificed many years hoping that one day things would be different and that I would finally have the marriage that God intended for me, but this never happened.

I have a son and a daughter in law and I love them both very much. Every single day I encourage him to take care of his girls and I’m not one of them. His first priority is to make sure they feel loved and they feel cherished, and when he makes a mistake I kick him right in the ass and tell him to get over there and make it right.

I don’t make excuses for him and I never talk bad about her because I love her. I don’t judge them because of their pasts and I’m not afraid of what their future holds because I honor and I respect their relationship.

When it comes to marriage and to in laws it seems as though there are huge issues with boundaries and learning who comes first and why.

When you get a feeling in your gut that says this doesn’t feel right, then listen to it. Don’t let your brain take over and start reasoning away why you can’t feel a certain way. Fear comes from the mind, your intuition is linked to your soul. Learn to listen to the prompts from your heart and not the fears inside your mind.

I’m going to be dedicating an entire blog series to relationships and boundaries because maybe you can take the walls down and put the boundaries up before it’s to late.

When we learn the lessons that we’re here to learn we move onto the next love story.

Love isn’t a thought or an opinion it’s an action without limits between 2 people

Yesterday was the beginning of something new for me 💜

International Day Of the Girl was truly a day where I reclaimed my voice

If you know me at all then you know I don’t believe in coincidences there’s no such thing💜

If you want to change your life then you have to be willing to make the changes 💜

Looks like my new side gig will

Consist of counseling women with broken hearts 💜

Gods plan is always bigger and better then my silly little fears 💜

When you understand the love you have inside you and you understand the love that you deserve then you won’t settle for anything less

Thank you to my friends for your daily texts, your random phone calls and all of your little gifts that show up just when I need them, I promise you that each one comes exactly in a moment when I’m in need of some strength💜

People who love you will always reach out and ask you personally what they can do

People who are afraid will stay away and cast judgments

But if you ever really want to know my heart just ask me and I’ll tell you

If you prefer the story you tell yourself that’s ok with me 💜

Love isn’t a thought or an opinion it’s an action without limits and without constrictions

It’s between 2 people only and it’s a choice every single day and every single hour

#startingover

Peace

God Bless

Namaste