Valentine’s Day One & Done

I was blessed with the most amazing sky this morning. What a gift it was to witness.

It’s going to be different for me this Valentine’s Day but probably not in the way that you think.

Valentine’s Day is all about love. When I was single long before I ever got married I remember longing for a Valentine. I wanted someone to share that special day with.

I was so jealous that I didn’t have anyone to spoil me and show me how much they loved me. I often compared my singleness to their love and found myself sad and depressed on Valentine’s Day.

Then I met my husband (soon to be ex) and I still remember the first valentines present I ever bought him. It was a pair of silk boxers with red hearts on them. (Part Of The reason I remember so well is because I just threw those bitches away a few years ago, and I had to hide them in the bottom of the trash can so he wouldn’t see them)

He bought me the most beautiful little music box and I still adore it to this day. I remember these things so vividly because it was our first one together and it was so freaking special to me.

I also think it was probably the first and the last time he ever put any real effort into making my day special. It was like a one and done sort of thing so of course I remembered.

After a few years of hoping that he would spoil me again I got tired of feeling disappointed. I wanted romance and love and all the sweet feelings that came with it.

But he talked me out of it. Sure we went to dinner sometimes, but it was with a check that his mom sent us in the mail. (So romantic huh)

I got a card a few times and if I was really lucky he might even write a message in it for me. Flowers once in a blue moon.

Even though I just knew once I was married my Valentine’s Day would be completely different, it wasn’t at all what my heart desired.

How could this be?

How could I finally have a man and still feel empty and sad on Valentine’s Day? I thought for sure after that first VD I was going to have a life time of mushy gushy presents and love.

Did he trick me?

Or did he just do what he had to do to win me over?

I think he probably learned how to treat his wife by watching his dad and his mom. It’s where we learn everything from.

Over the years I tried to push away my desire to be spoiled and loved on Valentine’s Day and sometimes I actually convinced myself that I didn’t need anything from him.

But friends that was a lie.

I need love and I deserve to be spoiled every single day of my life and not just on Valentine’s Day. But I picked a guy who doesn’t know how to do that.

I picked a man that’s all about himself and that never changed.

But I changed!

I grew 💜 and I blossomed into the beautiful soul God wanted me to be.

God gives us love because it changes us

If your in a marriage where your not changing then your in the wrong love story and I encourage you to move on.

I don’t regret a single year of my entire life and I’m so happy that I finally learned what a healthy marriage is supposed to look like.

I’m so glad that God gave me Jon because I would have never been able to love the way I do now without spending 20 years with him.

I want to leave you all with this……….

Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful dance of desire and romance and if yours is as stale as yesterday’s oatmeal get the hell out.

Today I’ll spoil myself with the spousal support I finally received after months of being on my own.

I won’t harbor resentment for him at all because I’m well on my way to healing a broken heart and loving myself better then I ever have in my entire life.

I will tell you guys this though, don’t wait and beg and plead and hope that someone loves you the way you want to be loved.

Theirs actions will always show you who and what’s important. You have to be strong enough to love yourself if you ever want a partner who loves you.

Happy Valentines Day

Single and ready to mingle in like 3 months when I get my teeth ha ha ha

I love you all

💜Tay Tay

Thanks for reading my blog it continues to grow a shit ton every single month 🙏

Peace

Namaste

God bless

What is Love??????????

This was on my time hop from

Last year with a picture I’ve chosen to leave off 💜

Some people might read this and feel sad and

If I’m being honest I was sad this morning, when I first read it.

But as the day went on and I really pondered

The words I wrote Iast year, my heart began to open up.

It said that love is tearing down the walls that you’ve built to keep yourself safe 💜

And I did just that

I did the hard work of digging in and understanding the things that were holding me back.

It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t easy but it was so worth it. The things I’ve felt since doing so are worth every single moment of the work that I put in.

If someone else blames you for their walls

Don’t you dare believe them. If they can’t give and receive freely from their soul that’s 100% on them.

The love you deserve comes straight from the heart and there’s no logic, thinking or reasoning that goes along with love.

Love is never ever giving up. That doesn’t mean on your relationship, it simply means on love in general.

It won’t be this way the next person I promise.

Love is being brave and trusting when life has hurt you.

It means that without the pain it’s impossible to feel the intense joy that love can bring to our hearts.

Love is forgiving over and over again.

You must learn to forgive yourself for not knowing the true meaning of love. You learned and the present moment is all that you have.

Love is learning about yourself from the one God gave you. This means taking the armor off and admitting where you fall short.

Love is patient it is kind and sometimes it’s messy and chaotic

But it’s worth it if your willing to become transparent 💜

Love doesn’t have secrets 💜

It’s real

It doesn’t allow any one else to threaten the union and it always chooses each other.

Im so proud of the work I’ve done that I can’t even be sad about where I am today.

This is what loves all about

Blossoming and growing and wanting more intimacy and connection. It’s exhilarating and fascinating and exciting and amazing all at the same time.

Don’t feel bad for people who break up, instead be sad for those who aren’t brave enough to ever be real 💜

#TruthsWithTayTay

Thanks for reading my blog

My followers are growing and I’m so happy to share my journey with you

Big things are coming this year and you will love them all

God gave me my writing to heal and to move on and he gave me all of you to support my journey 💜

Peace

God Bless

Namaste

The struggle is real

Today was an emotional day for me. Excited because I finally got to go back to the dentist and start the process of getting my implants.

In pain afterwards because that shits no joke. I think being back in that chair brought back some pretty traumatic memories for me.

I show you my face when it’s happy and I’ll show it you when it’s sad also.

Maybe I’m crying because I had to take out a $10,000 loan to pay for it. Maybe I’m crying because I’m in the middle of a divorce and I just want it over. Maybe I’m crying because it was painful as hell. Maybe I’m crying because I’m fighting for my happiness right now. Maybe I’m crying because my soul needed to weep because it’s tired. Maybe I’m crying because my friends cancer is back. Maybe I’m crying because I live at my moms. Maybe I’m crying because I’m happy to get started on the implants, but I’m sad that I have to go 3 more months without teeth.

Or maybe I’m crying because my souls unable to speak. Sometimes life brings us storms that we can’t even begin to understand.

Why does it all have to happen at the Same time?

Why can’t we spread all this shit out over a few years?

Why does it need to be like all at once?

I could continue with the Why’s but thats not going to get me anywhere. Instead I will allow myself to be sad when I’m sad.

I welcome mad and angry and hurt and betrayed, but I also welcome happy, and excited and new. I’ve learned to meet myself wherever I am and I’m not afraid to ever be me.

I am a woman who’s been through hell and back and I’m still here to tell you about it. I believe God knew exactly what he was doing when it came to making me resilient.

You cannot imagine the struggles I’ve ensued but I can promise you this, I wouldn’t be half the woman I am today without every single struggle I’ve overcome.

Empathy comes from trauma, and if you’ve never had anything traumatic happen to you then you can’t have a lick of empathy.

And empathy is my superpower 🦸‍♀️

I will stand tall and fight this fight just like I always do. I’ll show my kids where strength comes from and I won’t ever give up or give in.

One day I will look back on this time and I will laugh about it, but for now I’ll meet myself right in the middle of the mess and I’ll be even stronger then I was before it all began.

The only person who’s ever saved me is myself and of course my one true father.

Life just fucking sucks sometimes but imagine all the joy that’s going to come my way for never giving up.

You must learn to walk away from the table when love is no longer being served

Walking away is hard, staying is hard, and not feeling loved is even harder.

So many people think they understand what’s going on in my life and they haven’t the slightest clue.

Just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true. You will never know the entire truth until you read my books.

There’s a huge difference between being “nice” and being able to love. A wife needs nice for sure, but she also needs love like no other.

I’m a woman with many desires and needs that were left unfulfilled. I didn’t always want to vulnerable or to be authentic. I spent many years of my life hiding from myself until the lord decided it was time to get busy on the walls around my heart.

So many time we weren’t taught what love is really supposed to look like. How many people stay in marriages that have no emotional connection?

There’s no sex, not intimacy, no touching what so ever, no healthy communication, no changing and growing closer, instead often times they are just living side by side in a sort of an arrangement.

If you want that life then more power to you, I most certainly do not. There’s nothing better in the entire world then knowing that your partner has your back.

There’s nothing more amazing then looking in someone’s eyes and seeing their soul.

I love being touched, and hugged and held tightly in the arms of someone who’s keeping me safe. I love being kissed on the forehead and smacked on the ass. I love being silly and serious at the same time. I love surprises and romantic dinners and I love sex.

I love being honored and defended and put first. I love the feeling of growing with someone on an emotional level and learning how to become the people God made us to be.

Even in the midst of my storm I can tell you that I’m stronger because I learned what love is supposed to feel like, and I also learned exactly what’s unacceptable for my life.

Should you ever find yourself fighting for love I would suggest you learn to get up from the table. It’s going to hurt and it’s going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but if you know that you deserve better then don’t let the door hit ya in the ass.

You will be reprimanded, ridiculed, misunderstood and broke before it’s all over, but eventually you will be free to love again.

If he really loves you he will do what it takes to keep you, and if your not that important then he won’t. It’s sooooo simple but we’re afraid of the truth.

God has big plans for those who listen to him. He will provide for your every need even when it feels like you might be drowning.

He understands what you’ve gone through because he’s been there beside you every step of the way. He knows that you’ve been cut off financially and emotionally. He sees that you are being punished for walking away and even though it seems like it might never end, he will eventually right all the wrongs that have been bestowed upon you.

You just have to keep focusing on the love and the light. Don’t bother yourself with the small minds and the opinions of those who think they know. Don’t let the fears of the future overwhelm you.

You are strong because you understand what love is and what it isn’t. You did everything you could possibly do to make things better before you walked away and for that you should be proud.

Love is a verb 💜 and you should have never have to fight for it. Wives are special and they should always receive a side of their men that no one else ever sees. That’s why God made marriage, so we can grow together.

If love isn’t being served at your table get up!

💜 Tay Tay

I go to the dentist tomorrow

Please pray that I’m ready to begin the process 🙏

Peace God Bless Namaste

Thanks for stopping by I appreciate you

The best thing about telling the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said

The best thing about telling the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you say.

#truthteller

I don’t know why it’s so hard to be real. I think most of it has to do with the idea in our head. The image were supposed to maintain for the outside world.

Have you ever met someone who’s like a mirror?

They don’t really know who they are so they become whoever you want them to be.

They change depending on the environment they are in and the people that they are around.

They can be rude and crass and tell dirty jokes one minute and then hang out with the church crew the next minute.

They struggle with any real identity so they are always pretending. Trying to fit in at all cost all the while never understanding who they really are.

These people get caught up in a web of lies, when their mask finally falls off. They are left scrambling trying to remember what’s real and what’s pretend.

These people care more about their reputations then they do about their hearts. They live life by their own set of rules, and they hang out with other wounded souls just like themselves.

These friendships help enable their behaviors, because they solidify that how they are acting is ok.

These people avoid their hearts and their souls like no other.

They over work, over drink, over eat, and take on many activities that cause more avoidance.

Anything that might cause real emotion scares the shit out of them, so they choose to stay busy in order to avoid any real connections.

You can live a life that’s congruent with the way of this world, or you can live a life that stays true to the path of your heart, but you can’t live both.

Your words are nothing more then empty promises but your actions will never lie. They will always speak volumes as to where your coming from.

And one day we will all have to answer to the one who created us & he will make you tell the truth in the end.

My hope for you is that you learn to let love in before your hearts completely turned to stone.

Being nice is an ok attribute to have, but being able to open your heart and let love in is a miracle in hope.

Thanks for reading my blog you beautiful souls

I appreciate you all

💜 Tay Tay

Peace God Bless Namaste

You can make excuses or you can get real with you

Good morning Facebook

It’s me

Your Ohio life coach currently under construction 🚧

Even though my entire life is flipped upside down I’m still living

In the moment 💁‍♀️

Last night I tried kick boxing 🥊 for the first time & I absolutely loved it

Even though I’m 100% sure that I looked like and ostrich on roller blades 🤦‍♀️

If I can be where I am and still have the strength for a new adventure so can you👌

Science has finally proven that you are NOT growing unless

Your doing things that make you uncomfortable 🥵

If your local and have a class we

Can try post it here and I’ll come see you

#TruthsWithTayTay

Say yes to new adventures

The truth behind the yoga craze

Last night I had the pleasure of attending a Holy Yoga class at our church with my daughter.

I was especially excited because she always turns me down when I ask her to do yoga with me, but because she absolutely adores the instructor she decided to come with me.

#scoreformom

While I was there I realized that even though I’ve been practicing yoga for the last 5 years many people have never tried it for themselves.

I can honestly tell you that without a doubt I wouldn’t be where I am today with out my mat. If you want to change your life slow down and get to know you.

I think some people might think yoga is the devil but that’s just the devil himself

Trying to keep a hold of you. You brain is playground for the devil that’s why you go to the mat to turn him off.

He will fill your head full of lies so he

Can keep you weak and small, but don’t you dare fall for it.

Yoga is a time for presence

It’s a time for silence

It’s a time for zero judgment

It’s a place of peace

And the ego should not be on your mat with you ever.

It’s a very spiritual, and personal journey into yourself. Yoga can be just about anywhere anytime and for any reason. I’ve seen ganja yoga, holy yoga, hot yoga, beer yoga, beach yoga, chair yoga and so much more.

Please don’t get caught up in the why of yoga and miss the point entirely.

Yoga is for you and for your spirit and your soul. It’s a mind body connection that brings you out of your head and into your heart.

It’s about learning to be still with you instead of avoiding yourself all day every day.

That’s a huge part of what’s wrong with Americans, we don’t know how to be still with ourselves.

We are over worked, and over booked and we think the more we have to do the more important we are, but I’m here to tell you that your wrong.

You’ve been tricked by the ego and the ways of this world, and if you want to spend your whole life on tasks that mean nothing, then that’s your choice.

But if you want to change your life, fight depression and anxiety, learn how to show up for you. Stop blaming other people and take responsibility for your life and your actions.

I’m very picky about who and where I do my yoga, because it’s that sacred to me.

It’s a very special practice that has helped me love myself wholeheartedly and it’s change my entire world. It’s not a fad it’s an entire lifestyle change.

I would encourage you to try yoga on you tube first in the comfort of your own home.

Get familiar with it and then find some

Classes close by and go meet some new yogis.

Yoga is not about a tight ass, it’s

More about getting your head

Out of your ass 💜