How to break free from the pain

Good morning beautiful souls!

As I was sitting here drinking my coffee and wondering what I should write about today, my soul responded with this……

We get stuck in our pain because we don’t know got to process the hurt, but there’s a much better way.

So today I want to teach you about the hurt that’s trapped inside of you.

When we were little kids, no one taught us how to handle our feelings or our emotions. In fact if you’re like the average American family, I’m guessing you were told to avoid your feelings at all cost.

You were taught that they are unwelcome and that you need to either hide them and keep them to yourself, or you were taught that how you feel really isn’t important.

It’s so natural to want to push away feelings that make us feel uncomfortable. I mean even after years of coaching people and knowing all that I know, when the tears start flowing my first reaction is to make them stop.

But there in lies the problem friends. Every single time we don’t feel what we need to feel we cause that hurt to be stuck inside of our bodies.

I know it seems crazy but it’s in fact the truth! You have to feel it to heal it and that’s exactly why so many adults are walking around emotionally unavailable and wounded.

They simply haven’t taken the time to heal their hurts. Feeling is scary because we’ve spent much of our lives avoiding feelings at all cost. But if you want to create a new life, full of love instead of fears then you have to be willing to look inside.

All of the answers lie inside of you! We are all the same even though we’re different, because we’re all human.

Feelings are NOT bad

Feelings are temporary

Feelings are a compass that will lead you back to your soul

No one is born with emotional intelligence, it’s a lesson that we all must learn on our own, and the sooner you do it, the happier you will be.

Exist to be happy not to impress

Learn how to show up for you and life will reward you!

💜 Tay Tay

I would love to meet and connect with you on my social media 💜

Trust or Control?

Good morning beautiful souls! I just spent night number 2 in my house and I’m sipping on my coffee as I write this from the comfort of my own couch.

Did you know that it’s absolutely impossible to be trusting and to be into control at the same time?

They are absolutely polar opposites, and they each bring their own energy to the table.

Control is consumed by worry and what ifs. It’s ego driven and it’s a waste of good energy, because in the end we can only control ourselves.

Control is an illusion that makes us feel safe, when in fact it keeps us small and prevents us from ever feeling real joy.

Trust on the other hand, says I know that there’s a plan for me. I am not in control because I fully accept where I am in my life.

I trust that the timing is quite perfect for everything and that even though I might sometimes feel the pull towards control, I’m able to release the fears and accept that the next chapter of my life is going to be the best chapter yet.

I’m 100% an empath with a mission here on this earth. I feel things so deeply and that’s both a blessing and curse, depending on the situation.

I used to try to control everything because I was so afraid. I used to try to prove myself to those who didn’t understand me and I felt the need to prove them wrong.

But then I learned how to love myself and it was a real game changer. Instead of trying to manipulate people into seeing things the way I did, I just let go.

I forgave myself and I let go of the fears that often times consumed me. I learned that my self worth didn’t come from outside validations, but from a true sense of loving Tavia just the way she is.

I decided it was time to create something new, even if it meant I was going to have to do it alone. (So freaking hard)

I know life’s crazy and then it’s wonderful and then it’s sad and then it’s amazing again. It’s just the way it is! But I also know that once you stop trying to control things and your willing to trust the plan that’s laid out for you, life will become less heavy.

A huge part of what people don’t understand is that you are manifesting your future with your current thoughts.

If your constantly afraid then you are going to perpetuate more fear. But if you can get into your heart then that my friends is where the joy lies.

May your weekend be full of trust

💜 Tay Tay

“She was commuted to what was rising in her. That a part of her died and was reborn. Every. Single. Day.”

Rebecca Campbell

The next chapter

Yesterday I spent the entire day moving home. I was and I still am, full of all sorts of emotions. Holy moly it’s been forever since I’ve lived here, and now I’m going to be living here as a single momma.

I’m emotionally drained from the entire event. I keep reminding myself to take my own advice. To be gentle with myself and to make sure to honor what ever it is that my heart might need that day.

I never knew how hard this was going to be! Exciting and amazing and hard and emotional.

I’ve got piles of stuff everywhere and I can’t even begin to tell you about the amount of work that I have ahead of me.

But I know that it will keep me busy and focused on things that will bring me joy, because home is where the heart is and where the love flows freely.

I’ve been missing my house for months now, but now I’m back in it. I’ve been saging the shit out of it to get out all the negativity. And also to get rid of any lingering energy from unwelcome guests that entered the home.

I won’t be in any rush to do anything because it will all be waiting on me when I finally decide to dig in.

The present moment is all we really have, so I hope that you learn to live awake.

I’m going to fill my cup with lots of girl time and I’m going to slowly test the waters of love once again.

I hope you have the best weekend ever!

💜 Tay Tay

Closing my eyes to old ends and opening my heart to new beginnings

Sometimes chapters end sadly. Sometimes love doesn’t conquer all because fears take over and outside influences poison a good thing.

Try as I might to make things in my life go the way that I want them to, the one thing I’ve learned how to do is to choose acceptance.

And acceptance isn’t easy or fun because it means that we give up the hope of controlling and manipulating relationships and love.

We realize that love isn’t about taking it’s about giving and that maybe we did have it wrong.

I have to be honest with you, I used to be so afraid all of the time and there are many times when I find myself headed straight towards the darkness even though I’m conscious.

Its the way our brains are made, we want to avoid pain so we do things to keep us safe. We avoid love because it doesn’t come with any guarantees. We live out our childhood traumas until they no longer serve a purpose.

We spend so much of our lives trying to play it safe that we miss out on the real adventures that lie in the every day routines of those that we love.

Today I’m beginning a new chapter. After 9 months of living in a room at my mommas house I’m going back home.

I’m excited and I’m nervous! I’m happy and I’m sad! I’m so many things that I don’t think I could possibly describe them all.

Its going to be so hard to go there and to not see my soon to be ex husbands clothes and his shoes and his scent.

I’m going back to a house that was once ours and I now have to make it mine. It’s going to be an emotional roller coaster just like the entire last 9 months have been.

I’m so glad that that we are able to get along now and to move forward in a way that’s best for our beautiful daughter. I most certainly have visited all the stages of grief lately and I’m ready to move forward with love.

I’ve never experienced such pain in my entire life but I do know that after the storm comes a beautiful gift. When you don’t quit on yourself you will be rewarded with the love of a lifetime.

You deserve to be adored and spoiled and you deserve the connection of a lifetime. You deserve to have a magical kind of love that’s far from perfect, but that’s uniquely yours, and I promise one day you will find it.

Everything happens for a reason!

There are no coincidences in life!

“You can’t do anything brave if your wearing the straight jacket of what will people think” Beene’ Brown

I’m ready for new adventures and big love.

I’m ok with being afraid and still taking action, because most of what we think isn’t even true.

Here’s to my new place, I’m scared but I’m still moving forward.

I love you beautiful friends

💜 Tay Tay

Peace God Bless Namaste

Thanks A Million Mom

Mom,

Thanks for letting Peyton and I live with you!

Thanks for making your home our home and for letting us take over even though your used to living alone. I’m so full of emotions as I write this tonight because it’s the beginning of a new chapter for me.

I’m not quite sure how I survived the last 9 months, yet here I am, still going. I’m happy sad to be moving back to my house this week and it’s partly because I’m going to miss you like crazy.

And I know your going to miss us too. But how lucky I am to have such an amazing, open, honest and non judgmental momma who taught me how to love unconditionally because that’s exactly how you love.

You’ve watched me tackle some pretty tough situations and you gave me the space I needed to heal in. You also gave me a kick in the ass when I needed it.

Lord knows it’s hard to watch your kids suffer but you never faltered one single time.

I just wanted to thank you again, one more time, and while I’ve told you in person I wanted to write you something from the bottom of my heart.

I love you so very much!

There’s no other place that I would have rather lived then with you in your safe haven. I don’t have a clue where my life’s headed but I know one thing, you’ll always be my biggest and most faithful fan.

The mother daughter relationship has so many different dynamics, and it’s complicated and beautiful all at the same time. I’m so very glad that your my momma and I wouldn’t ever change a single thing because if I did then I wouldn’t be me.

#gratitude

#blessed

#motherdaughter

💜 Tav

What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life?

Telling the truth about your life isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But you should understand by now that I’m not everyone.

What would happen if one woman would tell the truth about her life?

The world would split open.

Muriel Rukeyser

I’m reading rise sister rise and as with all books I read it came to me at the exact moment that I needed it.

Never mind the fact that I ordered it months ago and I finally just got around to reading it!

We always receive the messages when we’re ready and not a second sooner,

Sharing your story can be scary and it makes you vulnerable as all get out, but it also helps you heal your shit.

It helps other women just like you know that they are not alone when it comes to their feelings.

It’s actually a beautiful gift to be able to show people all of your parts. In the last 9 months I’ve experienced more pain and heartbreak then I ever have in my entire life combined.

And with the darkness comes a lot of anger and resentment and hurt and pain and overwhelming feelings of being a failure.

It hurts like hell to have to walk away from your marriage, when that was never a part of your dream.

It’s excruciating to watch your best friend die and know that you can’t do a single thing to save her.

And it’s absolutely awful to have an accident that leaves you with a fractured septum and your 2 front teeth missing.

And unless you’ve actually lived through any of the above events, then you will never truly understand my pain.

But here’s what I’ve learned from a year of living in the dark.

I’ve learned that I had to release every single emotion that I’ve felt so that it doesn’t get stuck inside of me.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad I hurt, that I somehow have the strength to keep going.

I’ve felt as though I’ve just been treading water for months now out in the middle of the ocean.

I can’t go back to where I used to be because I’m not even close to the same girl that I was then.

But I couldn’t quite move forward either because everything was happening at the same time and in slow motion.

So I look behind me and I look in front of me and I continue to tread water no matter how tired I get. It’s been exhausting and it’s felt heavy as hell.

There were times when I’ve felt like I was drowning, but then I would hear a whisper from my soul that told me to keep going, to keep fighting, to love again no matter what it takes.

The darkness is inside all of us, but so is the light. And because I survived the dark I can now tell you about it. Because when your sitting in the dark I want you to know that your not alone and that one day the sun will shine down on your beautiful face again.

One day you will be free from all the pain and you will be able to move forward in the light.

I made a conscious effort to release all of the hurt and all of the pain because what’s the point of starting over if I’m going to feel the exact same way that I used to feel?

It wasn’t easy but it was so worth it. It’s so true when they say you have to feel it heal it, because the only way out is through the fire.

#TruthsWithTayTay

It’s in the dark that we find our light. We can’t have one without the other, and I wholeheartedly embrace all of me.

The good

The bad

And the ugly

I am a passionate woman full of strong emotions who’s learned how to deliver her message with a different voice.

I am far from perfect and I will never be but I can tell you this, I’ve never loved myself more then I do right now. I know what I bring to the table so trust me when I tell you that I’m not afraid to eat alone. I’ve never been more content with accepting all of me.

Life is a gift friends and forgiveness means giving up the idea that the past could be any different.

Everything happens for a reason!

💜 Tay Tay

I hope your weekend is full of love and light!

The truth about what a woman needs from a man

This ones been weighing on my heart for a minute now so I thought it was time to write about it.

With so many people in miserable relationships I think it’s time to share what a woman truly wants from a man.

We don’t want someone to save us, we just want you to hold our hand while we save ourselves.

We want a teammate not a competitor. We want someone who knows how to listen without being afraid.

Women want to feel protected but they also want to feel free. They want to know that you have their back no matter what.

Women want something special with you that they don’t have with anyone else, and they also want you to feel special.

Women want a guy that texts them first thing in the morning because it shows us that your thinking of us.

Women want a man that’s not afraid to share his feelings. They want a guy that’s somewhat emotionally available and not afraid to share his biggest fears with her.

Women want a true connection, and friend and a confidant.

Women want to laugh and have fun and they don’t want their lives to be predictable.

We want to be spoiled with affection and attention not necessarily expensive gifts.

Women want a man that stands up for them if it becomes necessary. She needs to know that you have her back especially when she’s not around.

That’s true loyalty and commitment.

That’s what separates the boys from the men.

Men and Women we’re meant to enhance each other so that they might grow together, not further apart.

Women want to be loved and they want to be seen and they want to be heard.