If you’ve ever had to go through a break up I understand the pain the comes with a broken heart. If you’ve ever had to break up with a narcissist this is going to sting a whole hell of a lot. But I promise you will survive it and one day you will look back and wonder how the hell you ever did it.
Here are 10 signs that your not going through the normal break up. Although I’m guessing you’ve already realized this isn’t quite your average split, you also find yourself completely lost at times because they will have you super confused before it’s all over with.
1. When you try to break up with the narc he doesn’t allow it. He literally love bombs you and tells you all the reasons why he loves you. You could say “I don’t think this is working out and you need a girl that’s more like you.” He will say “I don’t want anyone else but you. I love you.” This is quite confusing and will happen over and over again until your finally strong enough to just leave. He will not make it easy on you, but I’m guessing your life has never been easy.
2. The narcissist has 2 sides always. One side is the side he shows the world, and the other side is the side that he shows you inside the walls of your own home. This one is tricky because they care more about what other people think then their actual character. They always pretend to be “nice” but that’s simply because they have no sense of self so they become whatever was expected of them as a child.
3. The narcissist controls everything. They have all the money and you will have zero access to any unless you ask for it or get pre-approved for a purchase. They seek to control all aspects of their lives and your life. And you won’t even understand until it’s to late. You will believe that they are saving for your future when in fact they are only worried about themselves. You will believe the stories they tell you because they are so convincing.
4. Their actions and their words never match. And if you’ve been with them for a really long time your going to have a hard time with this one. Naturally you will want to believe their words because they are so convincing. But you will have to pay close attention to all actions and leave the words behind. Words are full of nonsense when actions lead to the light.
5. They have many addictions, afflictions, personality disorders and secrets. This ties back into number one where they are controlling. The narcissist has to manipulate and deceive in order to feel good about themselves. They will never admit to anything unless they are caught, and even then some will still deny all of the evidence you’ve already seen with your own eyes. (See more in number 7 it’s all connected)
6. They shame and blame you for everything. It’s always your fault no matter what’s going on. They take zero accountability for any of their actions, words, behaviors, and addictions. You are the reason they stay. You are the reason they can’t go. You are the reason they are unhappy. You are the reason for all of their mistakes and you are the cause of all of their afflictions. You make them act the way they act. You make them drink, you make them crazy, you make them do ALL the things.
7. Gaslighting is their favorite manipulation technique by far. If you say “you hurt my feelings and we need to talk” they will turn it around so fast you won’t even know what happened. You will end up feeling bad for trying to share your heart because they simply don’t have the emotional capacity to hold space for your feelings.
8. They love small talk and gossip. They have zero sense of feelings and real empathy so they cannot have conversations about themselves. You can spot many narcissists this way, be it another family member or a friend. Listen to what they talk about, and who they talk about and why they talk about them. If they gossip about others they gossip about you.
9. They will try to have sex with you in the middle of the break up. Better be careful Ladies if they are still living together, and your adoring him. They will do anything they can to make things go back to the way it was. This one might confuse because how could someone who hates you so much want to hook up with you??? Don’t worry it’s not about you and it’s never been about you.
10. They will repeat history. They will do everything on autopilot the exact same way they did it before. They will engage with the same females as the last time. They will pretend to change their behavior for a hot minute and end up right back where they started. They are in fact on autopilot and live their lives completely unconscious and asleep.
Now that we got all of that out of the way if you found your relationship any where in this blog you are NOT alone. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are sooooooo lovable, you just were with someone who doesn’t have the capacity to love. They can think, and control, and manipulate. They can demand and Shame and blame and throw a fit like a 2 year old child. But sis they don’t have an emotional side. They don’t want to love and to be vulnerable, that takes way to much work.
So stop worrying about him or her at all. It’s time to focus on you and only you. It’s time to spoil yourself with orgasms and meditation, with baths and best friends. With new loves and lots of excitement and most of all letting go of the old and ushering in the new. Magic awaits you for loving someone who never loved you.
You asked for this life so you could learn what love was. You manifested this relationship so you could walk away from it and teach others what self love looks like.
You had to be with someone in such a toxic space and environment in order to learn what the fuck you deserve. And now my dear you are free from all expectations about how your life should be, and you can manifest a whole man instead of an unhealed little boy.
I love you ❤️ I believe in you❤️ and remember this is only one chapter And you decide how the story ends.