Good Morning Beautiful Souls, Dear Ones, Spiritual Friends, Lovers of life. I just spent another holiday alcohol free and it’s fucking fabulous.
As I began the journey of healing and letting go of all the toxic people in my life, it wasn’t easy, and it’s still not easy. But my goodness is it beautiful.
No hang overs ever. No filling my body with toxins that steal my spirit. No drinking to cope, no drinking to avoid, no drinking at all, has me feeling and healing like never before.
When ya don’t drink you can see thing so much more clearer. When peoples words don’t match their actions, you can tell immediately. You don’t listen to words at all anymore you just watch people and see what they do.
Before I decided to leave my marriage, I tried to get him to come along on a new journey with me. There were times when he said he was going to change, but it’s just not a part of his journey. And that’s ok. He will find a girl who loves to drink and have meaningless conversations. I tried to convince him if this during my shadow work. My dad and grandpa were alcoholics, and his dad and grandpa are/we’re also. So you see genetics and dysfunction go hand in hand. Some people never question their lives as they do as they are told and mark their little boxes off along the way. Everyone has their own missions to fulfill here. No judgments and no hard feelings, but the discernment to do better then those before me. To find happiness inside me, not from some silly achievement, title, or the way the world tells me to be.
But not this girl. You can take your box and throw it away. I’m 48 years old and it’s time to act like it on an emotional level. It’s time to grow up and heal. And those who don’t want to grow are not bad, they are just NOT for you.
We spent so many spring breaks drunk from the time we woke up until the time we went to bed, that I missed out on a shit ton of healthy memories that I could have been sharing with my daughter. Drinking makes you selfish AF! It makes your brain alls sorts of jacked up and it kills any chance you might have of connecting with the authentic self.
The plandemic changed me because I was used by spirit to do the hard work on earth that I came here for. Some of you are not here to heal, your not here to wake up, you are simply doing the same thing you’ve always done because your unconscious and asleep. And it’s not even bad it’s just your path, it’s what you do until you understand why you are here on earth.
I was born to break the dysfunction in my family and I won’t apologize for doing it. Where everyone else hides their dirty secrets, I bring mine out and set them on the table. Then I deal with each one of them as many times as needed, until I feel safe enough to move on to the next one.
If you pretend there’s nothing wrong, you will indeed bring the drama to your own little family, and this is how it gets passed on.
I won’t miss another moment because I’m drunk. I won’t avoid another conversation because I’m drunk. I won’t hang out where I’m not valued. I will not engage in meaningless conversations that keep me small and are full of gossip. I won’t live in a house where there’s no love. I won’t ever settle for half ass people or energy. I won’t pretend to be anything that I’m not. I won’t beat myself up about the way it was because I know who I am and I know who I serve.
It is with great love and intention for my mind, body and soul that I choose to heal. My granddaughter will see what true love likes because I’m going to show her.
There are many many stories to come about the last 2 years and what I’ve been going through. Be patient dear ones one day it will all be revealed.