Good morning beautiful souls. I hope you all had the best Christmas and that you were able to find a little bit of magic, even in 2021.
Yesterday we were able to stay home for the entire day and hang out with our daughter. Just the 3 of us, and it was like a dream come true. All the years of running around everywhere to fit everyone in finally came to an end.
My sweet girl is a junior this year and that means it’s one of her very last Christmas’s as a youngster in our home. Of course she will come back and visit when she’s in college, but there’s something just as special at the end of the teen years as there is at the beginning of their lives.
Our family is far from perfect and we’ve been through some troubled waters over our 20 years together. At times feeling like I’m the killing the mom gig, and at other times wondering what in the actual fuck I’m doing.
But nonetheless moving forward in a fashion unlike other families or moms. Talking about feelings, bringing up the elephant in the room, asking our kids to open their own ears and listen to how people talk so that they can make their own informed choices.
Never sweeping anything under the rug because it only delays the inevitable. Taking the time to heal all of my hurts so that I can have a better relationship with my daughter. So that I can release her from any expectations that I might have for her life and simply allow her to be whoever God created her to be.
Teaching all the people around me to use their voices in a different sort of way. Speaking up for what your heart needs and wants and not allowing other people to tell you how you feel.
Using your voice no matter how much it trembles to tell people the truth, understanding that those who love you will still be there when it’s all said and done.
I often feel like I’m failing as a mother but this morning I found the most beautiful note from our daughter. It brought me to tears and choked me out first thing in my kitchen this morning. It was by far the best gift I could ever receive and it was free.
Your kids don’t need perfect parents, they simply need real ones. They need you to see them for who they are instead of who you think they should be. They need you to heal your hearts so you can give them the best of you not what’s left of you.
This love letter right here will see me through. Words are my love language and this was the best present to wake up to.
You are not alone and it’s never to late to create something beautiful.