Why I think it’s hard to let go

Good morning beautiful souls! I hope you are all surviving the last part of 2020. It seems as though we’ve all been put through the ringer this year. I want you to know that you are not alone. It’s hitting all of us differently yet our suffering is the same.

I’ve had to do some really hard shit this year and it’s not over yet. I sometimes wish I wasn’t on the path that I’m on, simply because it requires so much change, and quite frankly I’m exhausted.

Sometimes we don’t want to change. We don’t want things to be different, we want them to be the way they used to be. But if 2020 has taught me anything it’s that there’s no going back to the way things used to be.

This year seems to be about good byes, which are never fun. There will be times in your life when friendships come to an end. It doesn’t mean these people can’t stay in your heart but It does mean they can’t stay in your life.

Women have a hard time letting go because we’re fixers. But somethings aren’t supposed to be fixed. It’s neither good nor bad, it’s just run it’s course. Some people are chapters in our lives and some people are books.

In the past when things have ended, I’ve found myself full of anger and remorse, but this year is different for me. I am not going to hate anyone because we aren’t close. I’ve outgrown that part of myself. I don’t need to hate you to let go of you.

I don’t need to talk about you ever because that’s not who I am. I don’t need to tell my side of any story because I’m at peace with the decisions I’ve made.

I could very easily hold onto the pain or the hurt that was caused in 2020, but I see a much bigger picture. I will choose to remember the things that made my heart grow and let go of any bitterness and resentment because that’s not for me.

I learned this year how to love me on a whole different level. I might not have many familiar things left in my life, but I know that by being brave enough to let go with love and grace that I will be blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

If you find yourself here, please know that you are not alone. Your not a bad person for wanting the same love you give. It’s not bad to move on and you don’t need to hate anyone.

You decide what you remember and you decide what to leave behind. Friendships are here to help you learn about you. I hope you find yourself this year because without her you’ll always be lost.

I hope you don’t sit at tables where your the topic of discussion when you leave. I pray your brave enough to find friends that have your back and speak up for you when your not around, because those people are your people.

💜 Tay Tay

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