If you would have told me 20 years ago I’d be teaching self love through yoga, writing a blog and attempting to write my first book, I would have laughed you right out of my space.
I would have told you that you were absolutely crazy and that you must have me confused with someone else. (And for those of you who know me personally you can probably even hear my tone of voice with a hint of attitude while your reading this)
I would have looked at you like you were absolutely insane in the membrane. I would have thought that maybe you had me confused with someone else.
I also would have told you all of the reasons why you were wrong, and I would have validated everything that I was saying. I would have listed every single one of my failures, and my mistakes and I would have proven to you why I couldn’t be a teacher.
And then, I would have gone a little bit further and I would have explained why every single one of those things from my past would make me incapable of being a teacher.
I would have been upfront and real because that’s the way that I was made. I wouldn’t have sugar coated anything, I would have told you the truth about my life because that’s one gift I knew belonged to me. (Being a truth teller)
After I finished dogging myself out I would have then proceeded to make a really funny joke about how I’m certain that I would be the very last choice for a prophet or a teacher of love. I would have said maybe I’m a teacher of trauma and drama and of what NOT to do.
I could have maybe taught you how to survive some messed up shit. I could have taught you how to avoid love by being angry. I could have taught you a million different ways to avoid yourself because you don’t want to feel or deal with your past.
I could have taught you how to be angry and to lash out all over those that didn’t hurt you, and I could have most definitely taught you how to shut down.
I could continue on like this forever, telling myself a story about how I used to be, because even though I’m different, she’s still inside me.
I could very easily get caught up in the insanity of all of the things that I once was and lose out on the most important and magical events of my entire life.
Waking up and understanding that everything DID in fact serve a greater purpose, doesn’t always seem real. Realizing that every single situation, relationship, loss, triumph, heartbreak, and love story have all been a part of leading me to where I am today!
This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you Hafiz
But 20 years ago I could have never imagined myself here. And if I had chosen to listen to the voices in my head instead of the voices in my heart then you wouldn’t be reading this right now and I would be writing it.
I am beyond blessed and amazed at what my life has brought me. But I truly understand all of the hard work that goes into fighting the old and creating the new.
There’s an immense freedom that lies inside each of us but we must participate relentlessly in the uncovering of our own hearts so that we might let our love heal the world.
You are worthy of so much more then you can even I imagine.
I fight the same demons you fight the only difference is that I’ve learned how to beat those fuckers and you can too