Telling the truth about your life isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But you should understand by now that I’m not everyone.
What would happen if one woman would tell the truth about her life?
The world would split open.
I’m reading rise sister rise and as with all books I read it came to me at the exact moment that I needed it.
Never mind the fact that I ordered it months ago and I finally just got around to reading it!
We always receive the messages when we’re ready and not a second sooner,
Sharing your story can be scary and it makes you vulnerable as all get out, but it also helps you heal your shit.
It helps other women just like you know that they are not alone when it comes to their feelings.
It’s actually a beautiful gift to be able to show people all of your parts. In the last 9 months I’ve experienced more pain and heartbreak then I ever have in my entire life combined.
And with the darkness comes a lot of anger and resentment and hurt and pain and overwhelming feelings of being a failure.
It hurts like hell to have to walk away from your marriage, when that was never a part of your dream.
It’s excruciating to watch your best friend die and know that you can’t do a single thing to save her.
And it’s absolutely awful to have an accident that leaves you with a fractured septum and your 2 front teeth missing.
And unless you’ve actually lived through any of the above events, then you will never truly understand my pain.
But here’s what I’ve learned from a year of living in the dark.
I’ve learned that I had to release every single emotion that I’ve felt so that it doesn’t get stuck inside of me.
I’ve learned that no matter how bad I hurt, that I somehow have the strength to keep going.
I’ve felt as though I’ve just been treading water for months now out in the middle of the ocean.
I can’t go back to where I used to be because I’m not even close to the same girl that I was then.
But I couldn’t quite move forward either because everything was happening at the same time and in slow motion.
So I look behind me and I look in front of me and I continue to tread water no matter how tired I get. It’s been exhausting and it’s felt heavy as hell.
There were times when I’ve felt like I was drowning, but then I would hear a whisper from my soul that told me to keep going, to keep fighting, to love again no matter what it takes.
The darkness is inside all of us, but so is the light. And because I survived the dark I can now tell you about it. Because when your sitting in the dark I want you to know that your not alone and that one day the sun will shine down on your beautiful face again.
One day you will be free from all the pain and you will be able to move forward in the light.
I made a conscious effort to release all of the hurt and all of the pain because what’s the point of starting over if I’m going to feel the exact same way that I used to feel?
It wasn’t easy but it was so worth it. It’s so true when they say you have to feel it heal it, because the only way out is through the fire.
It’s in the dark that we find our light. We can’t have one without the other, and I wholeheartedly embrace all of me.
And the ugly
I am a passionate woman full of strong emotions who’s learned how to deliver her message with a different voice.
I am far from perfect and I will never be but I can tell you this, I’ve never loved myself more then I do right now. I know what I bring to the table so trust me when I tell you that I’m not afraid to eat alone. I’ve never been more content with accepting all of me.
Life is a gift friends and forgiveness means giving up the idea that the past could be any different.
Everything happens for a reason!
💜 Tay Tay
I hope your weekend is full of love and light!