I’m learning how to use my heart as a compass

When she realized that she was living through it, she let go of the need to understand it and used her heart 💜 as a compass

Rebecca Campbell

The end is near and I’m ready for it to all

Be over. This has been one of the longest years of my entire life.

I’ve been through more stuff this year then my entire life combined and I’m still standing.

You see if we spend to much time trying to figure out why these things happen we will surely drive ourselves insane.

I’ve had to learn to open my heart again while it’s in the process of healing itself. I’ve had to to learn that sometimes we don’t really know people until we decide to leave them.

I’ve had to let go of my best friend and watch her slowly lose her battle with an awful disease.

I had the most horrible accident that one could have to their teeth and face, and it left me with a fractured septum and no front teeth. I looked like a monster for a couple of weeks because my teeth busted through my lips.

I’ve had to defend myself continuously from lies and accusations that aren’t even close to the truth from someone that I never thought would treat me this bad in a million years.

I’ve found out more secrets then I ever thought were possible about someone that I loved and cherished for many years.

I’ve had to live out of my car and at my moms house for the last 8 months while all of my belongings except for some clothes are at my house.

I’ve been through hell and back this year but I’m still here. While my hearts been shattered my souls being renewed. There were times this year when I felt so alone, so betrayed, so abandoned.

And all the while this was going on I had to keep working and living my daily life. I have to show my daughter what it looks like to never give up no matter how hard it gets. I’m a single mom now with lots of bills and a $20,000 debt for my teeth.

I have to teach her perseverance and self love and the most important thing of all is what love should look like.

I have to teach about boundaries, and respect and loyalty. I have to teach her that a marriage is a sacred union between 2 people only.

I have to show her what wasn’t shown to me.

She’s always watching me. She’s seeing what I tolerate when it comes to men and she’s learning how to love by what’s going on in her own home. She will pick her man based on what she’s learned about love.

We either repeat the dysfunction of our parents and grandparents marriages, or we repeat the love story that they’ve shown us.

I decided it was time to create a new normal for my family. One where we learn to walk away from anything that’s not unconditional love.

When you go through the storms of life and you feel as though your barely treading water, don’t you dare quit.

Don’t you dare give up. You keep on going and very very soon you will be rewarded for creating a new life.

In just 2 1/2 short months I will be able to close the book forever and begin writing a whole new story.

I can’t wait to share the details of my journey and help you live the life that you deserve.

I miss my friend so much that my heart will

Never be the same but I know she’s watching me and she’s proud of me. She understood every single detail of what I was going through and she was always there for me.

It is in times of great loss that we are being shaped into the people were supposed to be

💜 Tay Tay


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s