My girl Brene’ Brown always hits the nail right on the head. She says you can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability.
Embrace the suck.
Notice she doesn’t say fear the suck or run away from it. She doesn’t say to stop the suck no matter what you do, she says to embrace the suck.
That means in the middle of my mess I have to embrace the suck.
When I had my accident and that left me disfigured for weeks and toothless (still today) for months, I had to learn to embrace the suck.
In fact maybe that’s why I had my accident. I’m being tested on every single level to see just how much I can take before I quit all together.
Whatever it is, there are parts of me that know I’m being transformed right now. Right in the middle of the mess I’m being tested I’m still going, even when I’m afraid.
I could say that a person shouldn’t have to endure all this pain at one time in their life, but I’m the kind of person who thinks “damn I’m going to be rewarded big time after all these storms are over!”
Im learning how to show up for myself every single day and in way that’s brand new to me. I mean I just spent 20 years serving someone else and putting their needs before my own, and now I get to show up for me for the first time in forever.
I get to lay it all on the line and show you guys what it’s like to be vulnerable. It’s very much a super power and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, even if it meant new teeth today.
Even if it meant I weren’t living at my moms, or enduring the current storms that I’m not aloud to write about.
I’ve learned that sometimes the plans for our lives stretch way further then anything we could ever possibly imagine. I’ve learned to have faith even in the middle of darkest times because no matter what I’m still able to share a little bit of my light through the cracks of my broken.
I would love to feel sorry for myself and make myself miserable day after day, but thank the Lord I spent the last few years learning about myself, my heart, about my needs and my wants and about my biggest fears.
Thank God I am exactly where I need to be because without the tragedies I’ve endured over the last year I wouldn’t be able to write to you with such clarity, and I sure as hell wouldn’t even think about embracing the suck.
Instead I’d be laying in a ball licking my wounds and hoping someone would come and save me. I’d play the victim card because that’s what easiest.
I’m certain that we can’t become who were supposed to be if were unwilling to go through the process of the suck.
Women like me weren’t made to fit in and to make others happy. Instead we were made to be courageous leaders that wear their hearts in their sleeves and that never quit no matter how afraid they feel.
Women like me were given strong voices because were strong enough to use them, and we’re never afraid to speak truth to bullshit!
If you are going through a hard time remember this my friends: “Our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater then our capacity for vulnerability.”
I love you my beautiful friends and I miss being able to give all of heart to you, but one day you will read all that I’ve been unable to say. One day soon this will all be behind me and I will laugh about it.
But until then I will embrace the suck and I’ll find a million reasons to be thankful for my life.
Thank you for reading and following my blog and my social media and for supporting my anti-aging business. I wouldn’t be where I am without all of you.
I’m here to lead differently and I embrace my mission wholeheartedly.
💜 Tay Tay
Badass warrior of light and love