Right now I’m going against many many many years of generational dysfunction and it’s by far the hardest mountain I’ve ever climbed in my entire life.
I didn’t wake up one day and think that this was a mission that I was born to live out, rather I’ve kind of grown into the woman that God has created me to be.
One of my friends posted this yesterday and boy oh boy did it speak volumes to me. I don’t believe in coincidences so when I saw this I knew it was a message for my heart telling me to keep on going no matter the consequences.
I’ve never been one to play by the rules of this world because this world is lost and confused and full of hurt people who continue hurt people.
I’m no good at playing games, or hiding how I feel. I’m full of emotions and I wear my heart on my sleeve, and this in itself is frowned upon in today’s society. A woman with passion is immediately labeled crazy or unstable, because we are taught that emotion is a weakness.
I am faithful to a fault and I can’t hide my cards because that’s now how I was made.
While so many people are worried about what others think I wasn’t made that way. I’ve lived my entire life being real and the older I get the more important it is to me to be authentic and to speak truth to bullshit.
For many years I lost my voice and I can honestly say to you today that it’s returned and it’s better then ever. I often want to beat myself up for being me, but I can’t do it anymore.
I will not believe the voices that are stuck in my mind caused by years of listening to others opinions and judgments. I’m also well aware of the fact that the devil does all of his work inside of our minds, but the love that I carry inside my heart comes from my spirit and my soul and even though I’m often afraid I won’t ever quit.
I am far from perfect and I never will be. I am a sinner and far from a saint, but I take pride in being an honest sinner and a strong woman of faith. I will make mistakes for the rest of my life and I will eat my humble pie every single time that I venture from the light and wander into the darkness.
Yes my heart hurts and I stand on shaky ground because of the world I live in, but no matter what happens I am breaking the dysfunction of staying quiet and unhappy.
I’m learning every single day how to deliver my words with grace instead of angst and I know that even when I feel like the entire world is against me, that it’s not true.
I was given this life because only I can live it. I was given a voice because I’m strong enough to use it, and all of my struggles will one day serve a purpose in letting others know that they are not alone.
It’s ok if you don’t understand because trust me when I say there are lots of times when I don’t understand either. I won’t allow the rules of this world to make me bitter or to cause me to stop loving, because the light is what I will always seek and the truth is what I will always tell.
I will always choose love no matter how many times my heart gets broken. I will seek grace over perfection and I will never allow fear to rule my heart or my mind.
I will falter but I won’t ever fail because I won’t ever quit.
Please say a prayer for me today and tomorrow because I need it now more then ever.
I’ve spent years encouraging you and now I humbly ask you to fill me with the same light I use to fill you.
Thank you for reading my blog and for supporting my journey I love you.
❤️ Tay Tay