“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others”
Since I’m newly single and ready to mingle it’s important that I talk to you guys about boundaries.
They are a must in any healthy relationship. This goes for families, friendships and lovers of all kinds.
The thing about relationships is wether they be strictly platonic or full of wild sex, somewhere along the line someone might get their feelings hurt.
And when this happens do you have the ability to talk about what’s bothering you and why?
If you can’t speak up because you don’t want to hurt their feelings then you are not in a “healthy” relationship you are in a co-dependent one and aint nobody got time for that.
We never swallow our own hurts to save someone else. That’s dysfunctional as hell.
In the midst of learning to love myself I often struggled with these very things, but if you know where I am now then you will understand that I did choose my desires over his and it feels fucking fabulous.
Sometimes in life we just need to relearn things that we were taught and update our blueprints simply because they are outdated.
Learning to speak the truth might not be something your comfortable with and that’s ok. But you can learn how to do it even if it scares you.
You can totally be afraid and brave at the same freaking time.
What kind of person puts up with a bunch of bullshit that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself?
I think it’s one who lacks self love. If you know what your worth then you won’t tolerate shit that you don’t deserve. You also won’t make excuses for the person that continues to take advantage of you. And you also won’t waste time explaining yourself over and over and over again to someone who’s never going to change.
Oh how many times my friends have sensed drama from the beginning of a relationship, but refuse to address it because they are afraid the other person might get mad at them.
You don’t have to be a bitch when you tell them how you feel, but you do have to speak truth to bullshit. You have to learn how to use your words in a way that honors you and allows others to know what you will tolerate and what you won’t put up with.
If you could learn how to say thank you next and move on instead of trying to convince someone how amazing you are, your life will be a whole lot better.
There are 7 billion people in the world, don’t waste a single second with those who don’t see how amazing you are.
Don’t spend time with people who don’t understand you, don’t value you or refuse to take responsibility for their own actions.
These people are not your people and the longer you make excuses for them the less value your going to bring to the table.
Life’s way to fucking short to spend it with people who aren’t your people. The better you get at knowing what’s acceptable and what’s not the better you will be at attracting a much healthier relationship.
But if your willing to put up with anything then your going to end up with a bunch of people that will take advantage of you.
Boundaries are for you and never the other person.
Practice makes perfect and the sooner you get used to saying good bye the sooner you can say hello to a new vibe!
I have faith in you young grasshoppers 🦗 start using your voice today
💜 Tay Tay