Life’s piling up on me right now. It’s heavy and suffocating and feels like a mess. Normal people would probably say they feel the weight of the world on their shoulders, but I’m far from normal.
I feel like a coat rack. It’s as though one coat gets dropped on top of me, and that one coat would be perfectly fine. In fact it keeps me warm so I’m not alone. But as the week goes on there are more and more coats being piled on, and I’m beginning to feel just a little bit heavy.
It’s as though I am buried underneath a lot of heavy winter jackets and I’m not sure how I even find the air to breath.
I don’t feel like I’m going to fall over and quit, I still feel sturdy but I feel heavy and I feel tired.
And then just when you don’t think anything else could possibly happen in your life you are smacked in the face with a snowsuit, a parka and some winter scarves.
It’s an email from the lawyer, it’s the dentist, it’s my best friends sickness, it’s the bills, it’s the divorce, it’s discombobulation at it’s finest and I needed to get it out today.
If we don’t process things they will get stuck inside of us forever and I can’t do that. I’m a girl of many words and today I’m being real with you.
I’m struggling to breath but I won’t fall over. It’s dark underneath all of these coats, but at least it’s warm.
It’s heavy but I won’t ever break. I’ll persevere even in the darkest moments. Winter sucks in Ohio and it’s depressing as hell all by itself.
But this winter is especially full of shit that’s never ending. You are not alone if your life feels really heavy right now.
I’m typing to you with tears in my eyes from a bed that’s not mine and I’m telling you it’s hard, because I’m real.
I’m telling you winter sucks literally and for real.
I won’t stay here forever but I won’t deny the heaviness included with this season of my life. I won’t ask what’s next because I’m 100% not ready for more, but I know that I don’t have a choice.
To all of you who can relate to being a coat rack, at some point someone’s going to need their damn coats again so they will have to be lifted. The load will get lighter eventually I just can’t promise you when.
I can’t even promise you how, but I can tell you that you are not alone, and that I to struggle under the weight of the unknown.
Thanks for reading my blog and sticking with me through these uncertain times.
I appreciate you more then you’ll ever know.
Peace God Bless Namaste
💜Tay Tay aka coat 🧥 rack