2018 was like a shit storm that wouldn’t end

Here’s what our life looked like exactly a year ago today.

We’ve been through hell and back and we’ve got the pictures and the stories to prove it.

This picture was one of the last close to normal pictures that we took together before all the crazy news starting rolling in.

I look at this picture quite often because New Years Eve was always our thing. I loved having parties at our house over the years and hanging out with friends that make my heart smile.

It turns out that New Years became a tradition before we even realized it was a tradition. It just seemed like normal for me to want to get together with those I love and to laugh the night away.

This year I don’t really know what I feel because there’s so much that’s changed. I know that I’m ok with this year being all kinds of messed up if it means next year we can get back to normal.

I also understand that there is no old normal anymore. Everything is divided into before and after and there’s no in between.

Was this before the divorce or after?

Looking back on this picture it most definitely invokes more emotions then other ones. I know the stories behind these beautiful faces. I know the scars on their hearts and the fears that lurk in their minds, just as they know mine.

I know that I’ll always enjoy looking back at the pictures of New Years in the past.

The ones that have made me smile and the ones that have brought me tears.

I don’t have a clue what I’m doing or if I’m doing anything. I can’t bring myself to make a decision so I’m just going to wing it.

I could imagine a million different scenarios in my mind that would make tonight special, but I think just surviving it this year is pretty special.

I look back at the last year and I think to myself fucking wow on so many levels. Wow to the pain that I survived, the betrayal that I felt, the sadness of a dream that no longer existed.

Yes sometimes life is a storm and as much as we would all love to avoid the storm it’s here To teach us about ourselves.

I don’t love the storm, actually I hate it sometimes, but I know that women like me are made during the storm.

You were meant to feel the love that you give away so freely. You were put on this earth to be loved and adored not tolerated and ignored.

So that’s my lesson in the middle of the mess and I haven’t even mentioned being toothless yet!

Life’s way to to short to live a miserable life with someone who doesn’t know your worth. It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks, it truly only matters what’s in your heart.

Some years you have teeth and some years you don’t


This year is different and different is good


Love is a verb and I’m ready for some action


New chapters are waiting to be written


New stories will finally be told


Brave Enough To let go


Use Your Voice

Love Tay Tay

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