After spending 20 years with the same man I was a little afraid to see how I would feel this year during Christmas, but I can honestly tell you that it’s been amazing.
I don’t get consumed with the way things used to be, simply because I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not in love with an idea in my head of the way that things should look like.
Instead I’m excited about all the people I’ve never met, and the things I’ve yet to do. I get to have first again, and that in itself makes me feel like a teenage girl all over again.
I don’t have to run all over the state of Ohio trying to fit people in and I don’t have to spend another holiday with people who don’t honor me or my heart.
I’ve been able to spend time alone in my house doing whatever I want and spending time hanging out with those who fill my heart.
It would be real easy to feel sorry for myself but I’m not that girl anymore either. This year was different and I know that change is good. I’m proud of myself on so many levels and I won’t ever go back to the person I used to be.
Going shopping all by myself was exciting and liberating. Buying whatever I want and not having to explain myself has been one of the best gifts yet. Taking back my life wasn’t easy and it’s far from over but I’m soooooo worth it.
When you decide it’s time for a new beginning there are times when you will feel like you’ve got it all figured out and there are others times when you won’t know what to do with yourself.
I’ve laughed more in the last couple of months, without teeth then I did the whole freaking year before. I’ve learned how to let new people into my heart and I’ve learned how to kick old people out of my life.
And it’s all because I realized that the love I had created and the love I wanted to receive didn’t quite match.
You can learn to let go of the things and the people in your life that don’t truly love you and you can create an entire new beginning. Filled with new traditions and a lots of happy.
I can focus on the things I don’t have, or I can spend time counting the blessing that surround me every day.
When you let go of your fears, then you make more room for old and new relationships. You get to spend time doing whatever it is that makes your heart happy.
Like yoga and talking on the phone and shopping and laughing a lot with your friends.
My daughter will come home tomorrow at noon and I can’t wait to see her. We will celebrate our Christmas a little later then normal but that’s ok with me.
I still have a lot of presents to wrap and baking to do, but I have the whole entire day to it. I have absolutely nothing to do except for spend more time with the people that I love.
I’m far from sad I’m excited. The feelings of happiness, and excitement and the unknown lurk inside my heart on a daily basis and I’ve found my Christmas magic inside all of my friendships.
I love the time I’ve spent with the people who mean the most to me. I’ve loved creating new friendships and opening my heart to the unknown. I love being brave enough to feel and to love and to be brave in the middle of the mess because that’s where the magic happens.
I know that today will be just as amazing as the entire week has been and that I’m going to spend a lot more time laughing and loving this Christmas.
I’m thankful for each and everyone of you this Holidays season and I know that my heart couldn’t possible be any fuller.
Don’t think that it’s dark over here, because women like me survive during the darkest hours and we create the most meaningful memories when we are at our most vulnerable.
My best Christmas gift this year was the one I gave myself, and that was the gift of starting over.
May you all brave enough to find the light in the middle of the dark.
May you learn what life is all about and may you be strong enough to surround yourself with people who love you, and celebrate your silly every single day of your entire life.
This Christmas I’ve smiled more then I have in a really long time and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week brings.
I love you and I’ll continue to share my heart with you as I learn how to love wholeheartedly 💜 again and again.
Thanks for blessing me on a daily basis and for supporting my writing. It’s one of my best gifts yet.
New Beginnings mean new life and new loves 💜
New means we’re not merely existing but instead we’re being brave and we’re willing to risk the unknown in order to create new happy endings.
Thanks to those of you who make my heart smile on a daily basis, I love you and I can’t imagine a life without you in it.