It’s been 4 freaking weeks since my accident and a shit ton has happened between now and then.
My oh my how I grow and I heal every single week. It’s been a roller coaster to say the least. I’ve felt every single possible emotion under the sun in the last month.
I wasn’t able to exercise or to do any kind of yoga until this week. If I did my mouth would have exploded. My body and my brain rely on yoga and jazzercise, for many different reasons.
Without those things in my life my body sort of turned to mush and my mind was sad because when I work out I release happy endorphins, and when I don’t I’m not as happy.
Going to jazzercise filled my heart beyond the normal because I missed them all dearly. As a matter of fact I should take a month off more often because I got like a million hugs and the love that I felt while I was there was exactly what this girl needed.
With every new embrace my light began to shine again. It was as though they were filling my cup with the light and the love that has been dim inside me lately.
I went to a restaurant for the first time and I even got to drink out of a straw. I’ve learned to embrace the toothless smile most of the time, unless there’s some hot guy around then I want to hide all together.
Eating isn’t easy but giving up everything you love to do isn’t easy either. I love Mexican and I was finally mentally strong enough to go there.
Stephie and I spent a good 3 hours there laughing and talking and enjoying ourselves. I’m so blessed by her and her conversations that I want to spend 3 hours every single week with her.
I did make them put us in the back of room and I faced the wall so only Stephanie would have to witness how I ate my chips, but I’m telling you every week I do something new, and some weeks I amaze myself.
Other days I’m the hot mess express. Going to court toothless was probably the hardest thing I did this week. I’m like he’s gonna think I’m a crack head, or he’s going to feel really sorry for me.
So glad my dad was there to support me because his presence made me stronger and I’m so lucky he’s mine.
Works getting easier and easier, and I’m starting to take more pictures again. I’ve got more guys hitting on me toothless then I did when I had teeth!!?!?!?!?
Not sure if they feel sorry me, or if they think they have a better chance because my teeth are missing, or if they just like a gappy girl, but it’s an interesting twist in the middle of the madness.
Maybe they distract me so I’m not focused on all the other shit that’s going on. I’ve learned a lot about boundaries this week and who is on my side and who isn’t. I’ve deleted and blocked more people from My Facebook then ever and I don’t feel one bit bad for it. If I get one negative vibe from you then you gots to go.
I’m in a place where I don’t have time for your nonsense and that’s because I love myself enough to know what honors me and what doesn’t.
I’ve learned how to have fun again this week. When I’m sitting in my car at the stop light and some guy waves at me, I wave back and then I smile real big just to see the look on his face.
It’s pretty freaking funny and I’m so glad my sense of humor is returning, because without it I’m not me.
This accident has tested my spirit, my strength, my determination, my self worth, my independence, my beauty, my bravery, my patience, and my ability to believe that everything happens for a reason.
While there are times that it really really sucks, there are a million times I find that I’m still blessed in the middle of the mess.
I’ve been able to learn exactly how loved I am. My friends show up all the time in the most amazing ways and there’s no other place I’d rather be, then hanging out with them.
I’ve learned how to receive this Holiday season as much as I give and it been a tremendous blessing. As a matter of fact maybe that’s why this happened. I needed to slow down and I needed to recharge my batteries.
God knew that in order for me to shine my light brighter I was going to have to overcome some more adversity. I don’t believe in coincidences, and I’m not really sure why this happened in the middle of everything else, but I can assure you that I’m not the same girl I was before this all began.
Maybe in 5 years I’ll look back on this and laugh a lot about the year I fractured my septum and went around toothless.
Maybe it happened because I’m able to see how lucky I am to have a family that loves and provides for my every need, and friends that are loyal and faithful until the end.
Maybe it’s because I had to learn that no matter what happens to me I’m a survivor and never the victim of my own life. Maybe I could maybe all day long but that’s not really me.
But I can tell you this, 4 weeks ago my life was flipped upside down.
I miss my teeth, and my home and my sense of security, but I sure don’t miss all the blessings that I’m surrounded with. I don’t miss one single bit of the love that you all sprinkle me with.
I know that I’m exactly where I need to be and I understand how much love I give you all because it’s all being returned to me right now.
Great relationships and friendships don’t just happen over night and I’ve got the biggest, bestest, bunch of bitches around and that makes my heart fuller then any amount of money in my bank account.
I go back to the dentist on Wednesday and I’m really hoping that I’m healed enough to get my Invisalign and to have my smile back again.
I can’t wait to talk normal again and to smile bigger. I’m excited to see what this week brings to me and I’m open to receiving an abundance of love during the holidays.
When life changes and your brave enough to keep going, you will learn to smile even when it hurts.
Thank you all for the love you give me and for reading my blog.
I would be lost without you.
💜 Tay Tay
The girl that won’t ever give up