There’s so much about this week that sucks. Tomorrow’s a big day for me (just pray), and I have so many different feeling and emotions going on that I’m not even sure how I’m going to feel next.
There are times in your life when you are going to be tested by everyone and everything. I’m so lucky to have a group of real authentic people around me supporting me, and I’m happy as hell to let go of the fake ones that bring any negativity or drama to my life.
I have zero time for anyone who doesn’t have my best interest in their heart. You can’t just sometimes want to be my friend, I’m not that kind of girl. It’s not about you right now it’s about me.
I’m not a sometimes kind of person, I’m like an all in kind of girl. When your on my team I’m all for you and you won’t ever have to question my loyalty because I’ll show it to you every single day.
I find myself confused and afraid somedays, while others Day I’m a bad ass warrior ready to take on the world. I’m guessing this is normal for what I’ve been going through, but it doesn’t make it an easier.
Have you ever woke up crying?
I did today, and it’s because I feel to much and I love to hard and I often times trust the wrong people and then I have to learn to let go.
I can’t explain myself to those who are committed to misunderstanding me. I don’t have the energy to waste on friends and people who don’t get it, and I’m not sorry for that either.
When it comes to uncertainty you must learn to let go of any negative bullshit.
I’m not a people pleaser and I don’t do fake.
I’m here to live the most authentic life I can possibly live and that quite honestly scares the hell out of some people.
If someone thinks your to much or doesn’t understand you then those aren’t your people, and you shouldn’t waste another second explaining yourself to them.
The people that are yours, continue to show up every single day, even when times are hard. The people that get you are the ones that are consistently there for you.
I wish I could say that every day was easy and that I don’t have to deal with negative bull shit, but that would be a big fat lie.
Those of you close to me already know every intimate detail of what’s going on. Those of you who want be close to me, have a lot to prove before I’ll let you in.
Those of you who pretend to my friend and then do something really really stupid that proves your not are just teaching me another lesson in boundaries.
I used to feel guilty for cutting people out of my life, but that’s not the case anymore. If you hand me the scissors I’ll more then gladly cut you off.
People can either make you feel really good and loved, or they make you feel really bad and and unlovable. When it comes to my life and what I’m going through and what I’m feeling you don’t get to decide if your staying or going.
Those decisions will come from me and from my heart. Boundaries have saved my heart, my life, my self worth and so much more.
You can’t bring that fake shit to a girl as strong as I am.
You can’t explain why certain things are ok for you because they aren’t ok with me and I’m not afraid to tell you.
I’m taking this December one day at a time and next week I hope and pray that my mouth is healed enough to be able to have some normalcy again.
But if it’s not I’ll survive, just like I have thus far. I’ll make it through Christmas discombobulated and out of my comfort zone and I’ll take it one day at a time.
I don’t know what each day brings but I do know this, I deserve the love that I give so freely. I deserve the loyalty that I invest into my relationships and friendships and if I should feel that your not as loyal then you will have to go.
There’s no time for doubt right now and there’s zero time for negative energy. I’m strong enough to let love in and I love myself enough to know when to let go.
💜 Tay Tay