Divorce isn’t such a tragedy.
A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage
Teaching your children the wrong things about love
Nobody ever died of divorce
The most important lesson I can teach our daughter during this is what unconditional love really looks like.
I have to teach her what love means in a healthy way instead of passing on another level of dysfunction to her.
Marriage is a union between 2 people that’s supposed to help you take down the walls around your heart and grow into the amazing people God wants you to be.
But sometimes people stay in marriages for all the wrong reasons. There’s little to no love instead it’s like an obligation that each one carries out while never being committed to the union.
Wives and husbands have been recreating the same drama that occurred in their own homes for years. Some lucky souls are wise enough to understand the gift of love that their father has created for them, and some people are so afraid of love that they put it on simmer on the back burner and hope it works out.
If you love your marriage then you have to try to make it work because you owe it to yourself and to your family. But if your trying harder then the other person and your the only one who keeps feeling hurt then it’s time to move on.
I once read a book and it said if a person was going to change they could do it in 6 months. That seems like a longtime and a short time depending on the situation.
What if you gave a person years to change?
What if you believed them every single time they said it was going to be different?
What if you gave it your all and they gave you very little?
What if your afraid but you decide that your heart deserves more?
What if you learned your lessons and decided to move on?
What if you taught your kids the difference between promises and actions?
What if you taught your kids how to grow emotionally instead of teaching them how to stay the same?
If you want to stay in a marriage where your unappreciated then that’s on you Friends. I’m not here to judge you or to tell you to leave. There’s a lot of things that can be fixed when you have 2 honest people showing up and confessing their sins.
But when your marriage is full of blame and you allow other people to come first then it’s not a healthy place for you or your kids.
When you can’t have a conversation about anything real then these are warning signs that you need to get out.
If you’ve tried to set healthy boundaries, gone to counseling and forgiven someone who wasn’t even sorry then you know without a doubt it’s time to move on.
Love is an action
It’s a choice daily to put that persons needs before your own needs and let me tell you
Without a doubt I did that for many years.
I stayed at home with kids and raised them so he could get his degree and begin living his dreams. He worked full time and went to school 3/4 of time and worked every other weekend and holidays.
I missed him dearly but I supported his dreams. As the years went on I thought one day we would be enough, but there were more accomplishments he wanted to achieve. So I supported these endeavors as well, which included being a coach and getting his masters degree.
In the meantime I found myself and the love I needed to start healing my heart. I have dreams to you know! I’ve put many of them on hold for years because I knew one day it would be my turn. I guess what I didn’t realize is that I would be single and supporting myself in these new adventures.
But I can tell you this……..
I got this
I will come out stronger and I will teach my daughter how to use her voice and how to stand up for herself
I will teach her about boundaries and about self love
But more then anything I will teach her the real meaning of family
The unconditional love that we give to each other
Is the one gift I’ve always had and I always will
I love my friend without restrictions
I love them no matter what
And there’s no better feeling in the world then knowing someone has your back and there’s nothing they could do that would make you ever stop loving them
My family isn’t rich or glamorous but they are fucking faithful and loyal and full of love 💜💜