One of the things that went wrong from the very beginning of my marriage we’re my in-laws.
As the years went on I began to notice things that we’re no longer ok with me. They didn’t serve to honor my husbands feelings or my own.
I tried to stand up for myself, I pulled away, I didn’t attend certain events and I tried to use my voice. But unfortunately my needs were never considered.
If I could do it all differently I would have said no from the beginning. I would have made sure that our union was about the 2 of us and never about making anyone else happy.
I don’t regret the life I’ve lived because I’ve learned so much about myself by living it for 20 years. But I am certain about a few things.
Mothers and wives play very different roles in the lives of their men and a man should never have to choose between the 2 of them. The Bible says that God comes first and then comes marriage. We can’t argue his word so here we are learning from it.
I sacrificed many years hoping that one day things would be different and that I would finally have the marriage that God intended for me, but this never happened.
I have a son and a daughter in law and I love them both very much. Every single day I encourage him to take care of his girls and I’m not one of them. His first priority is to make sure they feel loved and they feel cherished, and when he makes a mistake I kick him right in the ass and tell him to get over there and make it right.
I don’t make excuses for him and I never talk bad about her because I love her. I don’t judge them because of their pasts and I’m not afraid of what their future holds because I honor and I respect their relationship.
When it comes to marriage and to in laws it seems as though there are huge issues with boundaries and learning who comes first and why.
When you get a feeling in your gut that says this doesn’t feel right, then listen to it. Don’t let your brain take over and start reasoning away why you can’t feel a certain way. Fear comes from the mind, your intuition is linked to your soul. Learn to listen to the prompts from your heart and not the fears inside your mind.
I’m going to be dedicating an entire blog series to relationships and boundaries because maybe you can take the walls down and put the boundaries up before it’s to late.
When we learn the lessons that we’re here to learn we move onto the next love story.