It’s myself I need to forgive 💜
You might wonder why I need to forgive myself but it’s something I must do.
It’s as though there are parts of me that are already moving on and breaking free.
But then there’s these other parts, the parts of the heart that believed he was truly the one for me. Those are the parts that need some love, because those are the parts that had me all in when it comes to my marriage.
There’s absolutely no worse feeling in the world then thinking someone has your back who doesn’t. When you choose to spend your life with someone then there should be no one else involved in your union.
When God gives you your partner it’s all about creating a union and a family of your own. That’s all I ever wanted you know. My own little family to protect and to love.
My own safe space for my kids that I didn’t have.
A home that’s full of love and light and laughter. I wanted to feel special and cherished and instead I felt misunderstood and judged constantly.
I want to beat myself up because I should have left a long time ago. I should have had the courage to stand up for myself and what I believe in. I should have had the strength to say I will not come second to your mother and her wishes.
This is my family and I will do what’s best for us not what’s best for other people. When we deny our own feelings to make other people happy it’s the most miserable feeling in the entire world (at least it is for me)!
Please don’t make the same mistakes I have by putting your feelings on hold
And thinking that one day your going to get what you want.
If your with someone who truly wants to change they will do everything possible to make it happen and they won’t stop until they get it right.
As I look around at my relationships with my friends and family I see why they are so strong. It’s because I love them unconditionally, and that’s the exact same love that they give me.
You can tell what’s important in your life by where you spend your time. It’s important to me to have real friends, and real love and real adventures of the heart.
So I make time for those love every single week. I foster and I grow the friendships that mean the most to my heart. I might not have gotten it right when it comes to marriage, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t get the relationship part wrong.
It means that I’ve grown a shit ton and even though I want to beat myself up I refuse to do that. I refuse to replay all the things that could have been different. I refuse to fight the battle anymore because love is never a battlefield.
It’s a place for 2 people to turn toward each other. It’s a place where no one else should be aloud in and it’s a sacred gift from the lord.
The truth is I feel bad for anyone who has to be stuck between making their parents happy and making their spouse happy. That’s not how it’s supposed to be and I will always make sure my son puts his girls first💜
Last night a friend sent me this
It’s easier to come from a broken home then it is to live in one 💜
And I couldn’t agree more
Forgive yourself and move on
Your worth it