I used to hide parts of my heart from the world and myself until I finally found my warrior again.
I think it’s pretty normal for women to lose themselves in a million different things over the years.
When I first met my husband I was a wild child who didn’t mess around. I was over the top and I had a mouth that never stopped. As a matter of fact my family nicked named me “the boss” for many years, and I sure as hell couldn’t argue with them.
I was the boss because I had to be to survive my life. There are parts of that girl still inside me today, and those very parts are the voices that make me strong again. That girl is the one who’s strong enough to leave her husband and to start over.
I pushed her away for many years but she’s back and she’s better then ever. She’s more healed then she’s ever been in her entire life, because she was brave enough to stand up for herself again for the first time in a really long time.
There are parts of you that need healing and that need to be found again. You are not supposed to lose yourself but if you do I pray to God your strong enough to find yourself again.
I hope that your brave enough to know what’s love and what’s control. I hope you learn how to fill your cup so it’s not empty. I hope that you learn how to grow together with your partner and if you can’t grow together then have the courage to start over.
For many many years I found myself lost and confused because I wasn’t receiving the love that I needed, but I was also was a part of the problem.
I didn’t know how to have boundaries with his family (mom), because I’ve never been a wife before. I played my role as long as I could until I realized what God really wanted for my marriage.
He wanted us to take down the walls around our hearts together. That’s why he puts us with certain people. He always knows exactly what our hearts need.
I spent the entire last year blaming myself for many things that simply weren’t my fault. I did everything I knew how to do to rebuild the trust and to make things work with my man, but for some reason it was never enough.
So here I am in the midst of break up, starting a new life and I can promise you that this is not how I pictured my life. This is not what the idea in my head looked like.
You can’t make someone take care of you and keep you safe no matter how badly you want that.
You can’t make someone choose you when they don’t know how to choose themselves.
You don’t have to spend another second feeling rejected and unlovable because some people can’t give you what they don’t have to give you.
I always had faith that he would pick me one day over his mom, money, career, education, hobbies and so much more, but that never happened.
And even though there were a couple of times I got him to stand up for me and to protect me the battle that ensued before and after left me feeling worse then when we started.
So here’s my advice ladies, learn how to pick yourself 💜
Don’t wait forever for someone to change 💜
Don’t deny your feelings ever and don’t let anyone else ever tell you that your wrong or your not aloud to feel that way 💜
When someone thinks your not good enough for their family they will let you know, but sweet girl you are good enough and if your around people who don’t see that then the best thing you can do for your heart is to simply let go.
God has a plan for you
2 thoughts on “I used to hide parts of my heart until…………”
Very nice, Tavia!
I know you are writing to women, and women do need to converse, relate, support and love each another.
Yet, what you say applies to us all.
May God continue to open your eyes and bless your thoughts, mind, and life through your journeys!
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I write to all who want to read 💜 I know we all feel broken but it’s easier for me to talk about women because I am a woman 🙏 I’m even helping some of my friends with their own marriages so I don’t know where I’m headed I just know there’s a healing and it feels good 🧚🏻♂️ thank you for your kind words as I continue on my journey God Bless you