How I fixed the inside 💜

This morning these photos were in my

Memories. I looked at them and thought who the hell is that?

And then I’m like

It’s me!

And then I’m like

I look so sad and old and unavailable.

I’m like there but I’m not there. Holy crapoli can I just say that I love time hop, memories or whatever it’s called this week because I get to see the transformation of my spirit and my heart from the inside out.

I don’t care what you think of these pictures because some of you will say I was beautiful in all of them. But I’ll be the one to say oh no no no my friends.

Pictures never lie that’s why I absolutely love them. In those first 2 pictures I was still myself, but I wasn’t living in a place of faith, I was living in place of fear.

When I finally took the time to start getting real with myself, then my life began to change. There are times on this journey when everything is amazing and beautiful and easy. But then there are other times when it seems as though you’re never going to be the person you truly want to be.

(But then you see the pictures and the 5 year gap and you know that your on the right path)

When I decided to change my life that naturally means that it’s going to have a ripple effect on every single relationship in my entire life. Most people don’t like change. We’re supposed to play our roles in life, keep our mouths closed, be a good girl, don’t tell your secrets, don’t betray your family, put others first, don’t talk about your feelings, don’t make other people upset, don’t speak of anything real, don’t question me, don’t make me shame you, don’t talk back, don’t ask questions, don’t do anything that makes anyone else uncomfortable, don’t tell me how you feel!

The girl in the first 2 pictures lived by the above rules. She did everything she could to play her role and make others happy until one day she decided that it was time for her to find her own voice again and figure out what she wanted.

She was tired of living her life by other people’s judgments and by her own outdated blueprints. She knew that buried deep within her was a little voice that was waiting on her to find it and make it big again.

She is clearly me

and I am her!

We are the same but yet we’re different.

An awakening has occurred inside my soul and my spirit!

I have taken the time to heal the hurts and to take down the walls so that I might learn to love a new way.

And I love myself in a way that’s never happened before.

Your life is a gift don’t waste it!

I will always be the student and the teacher of life because these are my gifts and I must use them! 💜

“Now Your Just Somebody That I Used To Know”

2 thoughts on “How I fixed the inside 💜

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