TAYTAYSFRESHFACES

Did you know that some days I can’t wait to write a blog for you, and other days I cannot imagine writing a word.

That sometimes I am the calm, and than other times I am the storm. It’s true friends, I am as human as you. 

I struggle with the same things you struggle with. My life is far from perfect. I have every day conflicts and dramas that occur. I have unhealthy parts of my broken child still fighting to exist within me.

I’m not the perfect wife, mother or friend. I don’t want you to ever think that I don’t have the exact same problems that you do, because that’s simply not true.

I have days that bring me joy, and days that are full of pain. But something I keep learning over and over again,  is that I am the problem and I’m also the solution.  

The broken parts of my heart, don’t necessarily want healed. I mean consciously I can say they do, but subconsciously it’s easier to stay in protect mode, then it is to become aware.  

It’s easier to do the same thing you’ve always done, because change is hard .

The truth is that every single one of us is fighting a battle inside of ourselves. It’s what causes us to lash out at others. It’s what makes us feel incomplete. It’s what causes us to feel the pain, anxiety, tension, worry and unease. 

There’s a battle that goes on inside of my heart also. It’s one that I have to fight daily. Do I want to grow and learn? 

Or

Do I want to to defend myself? 

Sometimes I want to do both in the same minute. I’m not sure what to make of it really. I’m not sure why I allow the pain of the past to still take up so much space in the present moment. 

Even though I sometimes feel completely lost and confused,I know that I’m on the right path. 

How do I know?

Because when I stumble  and fall, I have enough grace to pick myself back up again. Sometimes when we feel like we’re being buried, we’re actually being planted.

I’m going to be learning until I die. I’m going to  be reading and teaching and loving until the end. I’m going to create the love my soul deserves and in doing so I’m also creating a positive ripple effect throughout the world. 

I’m also going to get it wrong sometimes, I’m going to mess up because I choose to put myself out there daily.

I am broken but I am beautiful

I am made from the fire not consumed by it 

I am my best friend and my worst enemy

I am me

And I am proud 

I am work in progress and I will always be💜

Know that you hold the answers to your own happiness buried deep inside your soul. Open it up and take a look✌️