The seasons of life show us that things are always changing. It won’t be long until we are entering winter, and I really don’t like winter. But do I have a choice? No, I do not get a choice, it’s coming no matter how I feel about it.
Our lives are very much like the seasons. We tend to go through our own changes as we get older. Every once in a while winter comes in my home and it sets up camp. The more I fight it, the longer it stays. That’s what maddening about ourselves, we tend to perpetuate the very thing we don’t want. It’s like all of our fears just come tumbling out, and we give them power because we are the ones who are doing the thinking, and we are the ones that are doing the acting, and we are the ones doing the responding.
We allow old unresolved issues to control us today. We literally become the feelings that we are feeling, and we let them run our mouths. How do you know if something is real or not? You really don’t, your brain can’t tell the difference between you being attacked by a bear, or if your being attacked by a friend. It doesn’t know if your lying to it, but what it does know is fear.
When we’re afraid adrenaline is released from our brains into our bodies, and then all systems act accordingly. We will repeat these same responses over and over and over again, until we can become conscious of our own roles that are formed by the fear. As I write this I’m afraid, but I’m pushing past it. I may have rewritten many of the stories that I’ve lived over the years, but I’m still afraid sometimes.
I practice yoga and meditation to help my mind, and my heart. But there are times when I feel sad, unlovable, and alone. I don’t know if this real, a result of the world being in complete chaos, me being an empath, me wanting to hold on to my pain unconsciously, or if it’s all part of menopause. Or maybe it’s all of it combined together, and I need to give myself a break.
I want you to know that your never alone. Even if nobody wants to talk about it, we all go through the different seasons in our lives. These are not meant to break you but actually wake you up. Not one person on this earth is free of pain. We all have our pain that’s locked away inside us. We all just don’t share it the same way, and sometimes we can’t even acknowledge it.
Maybe I need to understand that just like always, winter will go away, and the sun will come out again. Maybe I need to pray more, and think less because as we all know God is in control. I am the daughter of the one true king so even when I don’t feel good, I know that he loves me. I know that he has plans for me, and my family. I Know that if we’re being really honest I can’t do anything without his strength and love, because as a human I fail daily. But when I’m praying daily, and I’m closer to God my life tends to run more on the fulfilling side, than the empty side. When I’m proactive about my thoughts, and my plans than my world is different.
I tend to try to lean on my own thoughts, and my own mind for the answers. Sure there are times when I invite him in and ask for his help, but what would happen if I trusted in him all of the time not just some of the times? What if his lessons come clear right in the middle of the freeze?
I think he would say dear child, here are the lessons you refuse to learn
A lesson in forgiveness
A lesson in grace
A lesson in hope
A lesson in healing
Remember this dear souls, you can’t ever have good without bad