Today I’m going to inspire you to tell the truth all the time. I know it probably sounds a little silly, but it helps with communication, and relationships.
Whether it’s your spouse, or your co worker, you need to be honest. You see what happens is sometimes if we don’t talk about things, then they grow inside us. They begin to fester, and our brains will shred them and blow them all out of proportion. It must be where they got the saying “Don’t make a mountain out of molehill!”
Let’s say my husband does something that makes me mad. I want to talk to him about it, but at the same time I don’t want to start a fight. And so begins my internal battle.
This could end up a couple of different ways. I could continue to not share my feelings, and just think about them. But, I’ve learned when I do this it actually causes a chain reaction of other feelings inside me. I logically say to myself, it’s not that important, or he won’t understand. But what I’m really doing is avoiding conflict, and in doing so I’m teaching myself to be afraid.
I’m keeping the fear alive, and I’m also creating a bunch of unnecessary other feelings. It’s going to come out one way or another, so why not just talk about the situation as soon as it occurs?
Another way I’ve dealt with my feelings in an unhealthy manner, is to just vomit them all over him in a very childish way. I know that it’s not how I really want to share my feelings, and I know not it’s really the best option either. It might feel good for a split second, but I often find myself feeling lost and confused after that outburst.
Yes it felt good while I was doing it, but the manner in which I choose to share my feelings wasn’t the healthiest choice. Communication isn’t something we’re all taught. We kind of learn what we see our parents, and our families do. We do what we know, until we find a better way.
Or maybe we never find a better way, the choice is yours.
I’ve been working really hard on sharing my feelings in a healthy manner. As soon as something bothers me I take a moment or two to think it over. I don’t just go ballistic and cray cray like I used too.
But, I also don’t ignore them anymore. When I ignore them, it’s because I’m afraid. And then that fear will continue to grow and escalate, until it’s so far from the truth I don’t know what I’m feeling anymore. It’s a bad habit I’ve created that keeps me safe, but that shits not safe. It’s the furthest thing from safe.
I am a work I’m progress, and I always will be. I’m learning daily how to share my authentic feelings in a way that honors myself and those around me.
As soon as something is wrong, talk about it. Don’t try to figure it out on your own. Don’t try to overthink it and analyze it, because you brain will lie to you. It’s made to avoid pain at all cost, it’s just how it works.
When we take the time to learn about ourselves, then we will begin to experience new healthy feelings. When we share what’s really going on, it prevents a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. It’s a little scary at first, if you’re used to doing things differently. But if you can be brave enough to get past your own mind, there’s a beautiful place waiting for you on the other side.
The next time you feel like you want to shut down, or check out, try to open your heart and close your mind.
Choose faith over fear and everyone will win.