Good morning friends! This is my daughter and I when she was turning 5. I blinked my eyes and today she’s finishing her first year of middle school.
It’s a very emotional time of the year for mothers and fathers, with graduation upon us. And, I’ve been feeling all of the love that you share with your kiddos. I am an empath so I feel your joys, and I feel you pains. This is a gift, and I’ve learned how to love it.
Today I’m going to inspire you to stop and be grateful. It’s so hard sometime when we’re working, and we’re parenting, and we’re doing all of the other things in life that need to be done. I get so caught up in my own stuff sometimes, that I forget to stop and practice my presence.
After a crazy day of work yesterday, and a long sleepless night, the night before I found myself exhausted, and emotionally worn out. I cajoled my 12 year old into the shower, (which is not always a fun experience at this age). After a little heated debate she made her way into the bathroom.
I took this quiet time to chill and regroup. After her shower she comes out and wants me to brush her hair. She has a shit ton of hair, and it’s been a sore spot for us over the years. We’ve had more fights and arguments about her hair then I care to admit.
I don’t care if she styles her hair, or does anything with it. However, I do care if she brushes it, and the brushing itself begins a war. If she doesn’t brush it, there will be a huge rats nest in the back and it’s taken me hours to get this out before. (Disclaimer I do hair for my day job)
This conversation is one I dread. I know it’s coming and I know it’s going to be a battle. But, then also, battle ensues inside me and I’m thinking, here we go again. Is this really the way I want to spend my night? Arguing with her, I don’t even have the energy Left to argue. I even think, maybe I’ll just let let her skip it so I don’t have to fight with her.
However the last few weeks, shes asked me to brush her hair and she hasn’t even complained about it. So last night after her shower she asked if I would help. At first I thought to myself this is going to take forever. But I went ahead and got started. She had a towel on her head, and towel wrapped around her body. She’s so private these days, as are most kids with their bodies at this age.
We sat on my bed and I began the process. She had some music playing on her iPod, like she always does. She loves music as much as I do. The song Heavy came on by Linkin Park, and we both love that song. (Look up
I brushed the back out, and then I stood up on the side of the bed so I could get the rest of her hair. At this point she was sitting and I was standing, and her head was resting against my belly, while I brushed away.
And then I had an epiphany, I practiced my own consciousness. I got out of my own selfish tired soul, and I became grateful. As she laid there and that song played I looked at her, I mean I really looked at her and I saw her.
And I began to cry, I thought to myself, one day very soon she not going to ask me
To brush her hair anymore.
Here she was trying to grow up, and at the same time leaning her little head against my chest and singing her heart out while I brushed her hair. I sang heavy with her, and it this point she realized I was crying.
She said “Mom, what’s wrong?” And I said “I just realized that this might be one of the last times you ever ask me to brush your hair.” “I’ve spent so much time over the years dreading your hair, that I forgot to be thankful.”
“As I look at you right now I wonder where the time went, I wondered if this is the last time I will get to hold you wrapped up in a towel.” I wonder why I dreaded this experience so much, and now it was bringing me to my Knees?
She hugged me with all of her might and she let me cry those tears all over the top of her head. She said mom I love you, and that in itself was enough. The song ended and the moment passed, but I will never forget that, and neither will she.
Yes, I’m currently doing my ugly cry as I write this. It’s ok, crying is good for the soul. Take the time to get out of your own dramas. Take the time to practice presence with your kids. Take the time to learn to think differently and to realize the lessons they are here to teach you.
Hopefully that’s not that last time, I get to brush her hair, but if it was I would say it was the perfect ending.