Having a daughter is an amazing gift, and a huge challenge all at the same time. God gave me this wonderful, complicated, beautiful soul to help mold, but I wasn’t prepared for the emotions involved with this child. I used to avoid my own emotions, and I still struggle sometimes to get them out in a healthy manner!
She is 12 now, and in the 6th grade. Holy shit we enter middle school. These years have to be some of the most trying years of all. Our kids are getting their hormones, and their little brains are growing. They are just trying to survive amongst their peers, and make it out alive.
They all feel the exact same way, but yet none of them talk about it. They just make up stories in their heads, and never share their real feelings, or their real emotions. All because they are too afraid. (Middle School will have to be an entirely different blog all together, I mean seriously that could be a book)
Over the years I lost a very important part of myself, but it’s back now. I chose to stifle that part of myself because I thought it was inappropriate. I thought if I was going to be the mom of a young girl, then I needed at act a certain way. But that my friends didn’t honor my true feelings, and I’m so glad to be back.
My daughter needs to see my bitch sometimes, and she needs to see how I handle people and situations that aren’t true to me. There’s no more hiding my own stuff from her, because it’s time for her to learn beside me.
That little bit of cray cray inside me, is exactly what my daughter needs in her life, and here are a few of my favorite B lessons!
- Bullies: They come in all shapes and sizes. They are adults, and they are children. They are the broken ones. They are the ones with the issues, my sweet child. They are a perfect example of what happens when you don’t deal with your emotions and feelings. They are miserable, and the only way they can make themselves feel a little bit better is to make other people feel small. You will encounter these people for the rest of your life, and you need to learn how to deal with them now. We don’t give our power away to these people, and we also have the knowledge to not take it personal. Their problems are not your problems, they can only hurt you if you let them! Momma says no way, get to steppin!
- Bitches: Very similar to the first B, However, I am only referring to the females this time. And I don’t mean the good kind of bitches, that I call my friends. I mean the kind of bitches that are so insecure they will do anything for attention. They have 2 faces for a reason. They are always thinking of themselves, and they will do anything to get what they want. You will undoubtedly meet many bitches during your life. It’s ok when one fools you, because you will know what to look for the next time. Bitches teach us a life lesson, and that’s who we DON’T want to be like. This lesson leads directly into the next lesson.
- Boundaries: Are for us, never for the other people. You don’t have a choice when it comes to other people’s actions, but you do get a choice about how you will respond to it. Negativity breeds more negativity. There can be no conflict if you don’t participate in their behavior. Sometimes people do shitty things to us, and that’s ok because we’re all human and make mistakes, but don’t let people make the same mistakes over and over again. At this point they are choosing to be an ass, and you are choosing to let them. This one might be one of the hardest lessons of all, but I know that you will get it right. Just remeber, that we teach people how to treat us.
- Besties: Your probably not going to meet your life long best friend until your much older. I know you see me with my girlfriends, and you see how much I love them. You know that I am faithful and ferocious when it comes to them. But, here’s the thing, I didn’t always attract the right kind of friends in my life. I didn’t always pick the kind of people who honored me. I even stayed friends with people longer then I should of , because I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be accepted, even if it meant they were treating me badly. Even if it meant I often felt alone, when I was with them. You will meet some amazing women in your lifetime. They will fill your heart and soul in a way that no one else can. These women will be your strength when you are weak, and you will do the same for them. They will be honest and authentic, just like you will be. They will be your #squad and you will know what true acceptance feels like. So, don’t compare your friends to my friends. And, as a matter of fact, don’t compare yourself to anything or anyone ever. Your friendships will be here one day. Be patient and enjoy your youth.
- Bravery: You must go beyond your fears. You must learn how unreal the fear is. It’s set up to keep you safe, and life isn’t meant to be safe. You have to be Brave, and bold sometimes. You have to be the opposite of everyone else. You weren’t born to fit in dear daughter, you were born for so much more. When you finally master the art of being braver, you will encourage more young girls to be brave as well! You will learn how to get out of your own head and back into your heart. You will learn that you can do anything if you just try. You might even fail a few times, but it’s in that failure that you will find a beautiful lesson. So bust out your superhero cape, it’s time to get BRAVE!