Our first instinct as humans when something goes wrong is to go into defense mode. That’s right, every single one of us are made the same. If someone says something to piss you off, defense mode. If someone says something to hurt you, defense mode. If someone cuts you off in traffics, defense mode. If your spouse says something you don’t want to hear, defense mode. If your kids do something to make you mad, defense mode.
What I am saying is that you are naturally wired to go into defense mode. Its no fault of your own, it’s the way we are wired. If your defensive, then you don’t have to be vulnerable. So really, defense mode is our egos way of saying, “put up the walls, don’t let yourself get hurt.”
Some of us might be content living our entire lives in defense mode. Then there are others who want to learn a new way. I want to learn a new way! I want to learn why I act a certain way, and why I resort back to my old ways. I want to learn a different way to respond. I want to be vulnerable because I think that’s when you truly grow. When you can look inside and try to figure out the hurt, you can grow into your authentic self.
It’s not easy to change. It’s actually easier to keep doing the exact same thing you’ve always done. I mean come on, after years of doing something one way, change isn’t going to happen over night. It’s going to take consistency, and determination. It’s going to take challenging yourself on a daily basis. It’s going to take you being conscious and being aware of the feelings in your body and in your mind. It’s going to take time and practice and patience.
But if in the end it makes me a better person, a better wifey, a better mom, a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, a better GiGi, then I am ready for the challenge. I am ready to be vulnerable. Hopefully, after reading this, you will be ready too.
Tavia Hayduk 937-210-2306